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The Unspoken Rule Of Parenting: If Your First Baby Was Easy, Your Second Baby Will Kick Your Ass

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Parenting has a lot of unspoken rules. Once you’re in the “club” of popping a watermelon out of your baby hole, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. There are certain ideologies, nay rumors, that spread through the parenting world like wildfire. I don’t know how it happens, it just does. One parent may spout their favorite catchphrase in New York, and the next thing you know, parents in California are talking about it.

One of the most common unspoken idioms of parenting is this: If you have an easy baby, your next baby is going to rock your world.

It seems like parents around the world believe that babies come in pairs of opposites—myself included. My first son was what awesome Mommyish reader Kay_Sue calls the “humble child.” This basically means that you may have a spirited or challenging baby on your hands designed to keep you humble.

The humble baby is the opposite of the easy baby. This is my first son to a T. He is overall a happy, adorable little kid, but he has been sickly from the word go. He also has epic tantrums and is more difficult to rein in compared to his younger brother, a baby content to smile, laugh, and sit on the floor for hours. Polar opposites.

So I guess my personal experience proves that this parenting wisdom is true. I had a “humble baby” the first go round, and in comparison, my second child was a dream come true. But at the same time, I don’t know how much of this can be chalked up to my own anxiety as a new parent. Who knows if my first son really was that challenging, or if I was just in over my head? What is the sound of one hand clapping? We may never know.

Most parents I know who had a first easy baby are scared shitless. They firmly believe in the “baby karma” that you will get the opposite of what you had before. If your first child was laidback and easygoing, you are in for a world of hurt. There’s no way parenting can be that simple with two easy kids in a row. If this unspoken rule really is true, I’m glad I got the humble child out of the way first. It’s all downhill from here.

(Image: olgashevtsova/Shutterstock)