being a mom

Anonymous Mom: I Hate My Drug Addict Sister-In-Law For Having Another Baby

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Two days ago, we found out that friends of ours had had a miscarriage. They are amazing parents, with a one-year-old son who my husband and I adore, and who they are already turning into an amazing little human. They are the nicest family you could meet, with strong values and a truckload of love to give to whoever crosses their path.

They lost their second baby at eight weeks. They found out they were pregnant at six weeks, but by the time they reached their 10 week check-up there was no longer a heartbeat. When they told us this weekend they would have been at 12 weeks, growing a little brother or sister for their son. They were calm and sad when they told us, but they had grieved and cried in private, dealing with their loss with class and dignity in a world where people’s smallest movements are announced on Facebook.

We were heartbroken. For two people, especially two who were clearly born to be parents, to lose a child…there are no words.

I don’t like to pass judgement, and I am not qualified to decide who should and shouldn’t be a parent. But while driving home, I was overwhelmed by anger that my sister-in-law could see her four accidental pregnancies through to full term, despite what she has done to her body and her family, and have those four kids love her unconditionally, despite the kind of mother she has been. I was furious with the universe for giving her four kids, while our friends were dealing with the inexplicable loss of one of theirs.

In that moment, I hated my sister-in-law.

I know that this is life, that this is what happens, and that there is no way of explaining why good people have bad things happen to them, and bad people have things work out for them. And normally I’d be ok with that.

But for now – in this moment, while this is still so fresh – it’s not fair.

And that’s why I hate her.

(Images: getty images)

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