16 Ways To Not Be A Worthless Dad On Your First Day Home With A New Baby

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Check on her needs regularly. Like, every five minutes or so.

GIF by South Park

Image: Comedy Central

Now, this portion of Operation Don’t Be A Worthless Dad needs to be done with a deft hand. You can’t badger her, that’ll only annoy her or piss her off. But for the love of all things holy, don’t ignore her! You have to figure out how to casually assess her needs without coming across as needy or too eager. Also, anticipate her needs before she has them. If you notice her water bottle is less than half full, you better fill that bitch up immediately. Imagine you’re a waiter, and your partner is a party of 10 at a super expensive restaurant. This tip can make or break your night. Work wisely.

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