Baby

16 Ways To Not Be A Worthless Dad On Your First Day Home With A New Baby

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Unexpected guests come a-knockin’? You are the keeper of these gates.

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Image: Netflix

No matter how many times you tell people you don’t guests on the first day home, people will show up. They mean well! They really do. But they still can’t come in. Field any and all texts and phone calls, and decline offers of help or visits. If the doorbell rings, you better crack that door open just wide enough to slip out onto the porch and handle the business right then and there. Oh, your lovely neighbor brought a casserole! That it so sweet, take the dish and let her know you’ll give her a call when she can produce a current vaccine schedule and your partner’s vagina stops having a heartbeat. You’re not going to make a lot of friends playing the bad guy here, but that doesn’t matter.

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