16 Ways To Not Be A Worthless Dad On Your First Day Home With A New Baby

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OK, back to work! Mama is up, and she’s hurting. And hungry. And crap, the baby is hungry too. WHAT DO YOU DO?

freaking out GIF

Image: Nickelodeon

First of all, CALM DOWN. Don’t be a worthless dad and lose your shit when the going gets tough. This is when we need you the most! First, assess the situation. Is the baby HUNGRY hungry, or just getting hungry? If it’s the former, you need to get that baby fed immediately to avoid a DEFCON 5 situation. If it’s the latter, you have like 4 minutes to handle mom’s needs. Two birds with one stone: fix her a snack, put her pain pills on the plate, and refill her water bottle. That needs to take two minutes tops, so you might want to do a few practice runs before the baby comes home. Once mom is eating and/medicated, get the baby. Bottle, feed, burp. Or, hold and soothe the baby until mom is ready to nurse.

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