I’ll Never Be Pregnant Again And I’m So Happy I’m Done Having Babies
For the last few years, ever since getting rid of my pesky uterus, I have had moments when I felt a bit sad that I was done having children. I have four of my own, I love them all to pieces, and on occasion I would feel a slight twinge of what if whenever I saw a cute baby or a friend announced they were pregnant. But not anymore. I’m so glad I’m done having babies and looking back at how much work babies are I can’t even remember how I got through all of that.
Babies are cute, and fun, and there is nothing more lovely than having a content newborn fall asleep in your arms. I love holding babies, and looking at babies, and hearing about babies. But just as cute and fun is the act of holding a baby and then handing it back to their parent and realizing that I’m not the one who has to go home and feed it and change it and keep it from rolling off the sofa. Babies are so much work! I always assumed that I would feel terribly sad and empty when I contemplated the hardcore reality that my birthing days are over, but I couldn’t be more happy about it. I don’t know where this myth started that women of a certain age who were done having kids would feel this longing to have another baby after their baby-having days were over, but in my case it’s definitely not true. Any time I spend with a baby or toddler makes me realize how thrilled I am those days are over for me.
I’m writing this from the perspective of a mom who has been blessed with four kids (#Blessed) so I cannot even begin to fathom how it feels for someone who always wanted to have a baby but was unable to. I have tons of sympathy for anyone going through infertility. But for those of you women who have changed your last diaper or put your kids on the bus to kindergarten and wondered if you will regret the days you are done having babies, I’m here to tell you that maybe not. You may end up like me and be all too happy you never have to childproof anything again. I say moms, even though I’m sure there are men out there in this great big world who reach a certain age or a certain time in their lives and suddenly feel this pang of regret that they will never father another child, but in society we rarely see the trope of the sad dude walking by a playground and observing all the adorable babies in strollers and sighing that his reproducing days are over. This myth is usually reserved for women.
When I gave birth to my daughter nine years ago I was pretty positive she was my last baby. Â I made a conscious effort to be fully in the moment and truly enjoy all the endless days of nursing and washing all those tiny socks and mashing bananas. I remember feeling sad at the time that she would probably be my last baby, but now that my first baby is almost grown and will be going off too college next year I’m getting pretty excited about the rest of my babies growing up and getting the hell out of my house. I’ve loved being a mom, and I know I’m never going to actually stop being a mom, and that I will face much larger problems with my kids than losing their pacifiers as they grow older, but I no longer feel any sort of sadness I’m done having babies. I’m actually pretty stoked for the future when I will become a grandma. Mainly because I know I can hand those babies right back.