Hearing About Other People’s Divorces Helps Normalize Our Family For Our Daughter

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The point is, we all want our kids to feel normal – whatever your normal is – and finding out that other parents of kids her age are getting divorced and their mommies and daddies won’t be living together, makes my daughter feel more normal. I knew this was going to happen, that parents were eventually going to get divorced, and that I was just about five years ahead of everyone else. (And I was exactly right.)

So, yes, on one had I know it’s wrong of me to feel a sense of happiness that my daughter’s friends parents are getting divorced. It’s not that I’m happy that individually they are going through this sort of pain, but that the concept of divorce is now an actual thing I can point to and say, “And Sally and Helen and Jane’s parents are divorced too!”

I can also say I’m not really interested in the details of these people’s divorces: if someone cheated with their 22 year old secretary, or decided they were gay, or whatever. I’m simply just interested that they are getting a divorce, so I can pass that information onto my daughter.

And, also, this is not a bad thing. Some of the children have actually opened up to my daughter, age 9, about what they feel about their parents divorce. She told me at recess one of the girls was crying and my daughter asked why and she told my daughter that it’s not fair that kids don’t get a say in divorce. My daughter actually told her, “Well, at least you get to see your mommy AND daddy every week.” She also told her about her new stepsisters and how their parents still love them. In fact, over this one divorce, my daughter became friendlier with this girl.

So, it may sound awful that I’m happy people are divorcing, but the positive is that my daughter has become the wise one in the world of divorce and feels like its perfectly normal to be a child of divorce. So, if you’re going through a divorce, I am sorry for you, but if you need to feel ‘normal,’ just look over here.

(Photo: wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock)

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