Pop Culture

The Mommyish Guide To Differentiating The Duggars

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Jessa Duggar-Almost Seewald

jessa duggar

(via Jessa Duggar Instagram)

Jessa holds the unofficial title of Hottest Duggar Girl and as such, has been courted by teenage Ben Seewald for the better part of the last year. They are now engaged and on the fast-track to making even more Duggar spawn. However, Jim Bob must have thought their relationship was not moving along fast enough and the Lord whispered in his ear that he could use more manual labor so now, Ben lives on the Duggar compound close to his lady and under the watchful eye of Daddy Duggar. For the most part, Jessa does not appear particularly thrilled with this arrangement as she seems perpetually annoyed by Ben and his romantic overtures but that’s ok. Her mom told her she simply needs to be prepared to lay down for Ben whenever he asks if that is what he needs from her. Saith the Lord.

Jinger Duggar

jinger pic

(via Jessa Duggar Instagram)

Oh, sweet Jinger (like the spice, not Ringer). The world is watching and praying for her escape. She appears constantly annoyed by her sisters and viewers have taken note of her many eye-rolls when they talk of meeting Mr. Right and their love of all things denim. She broke all of our hearts when she tried to say how much she would love living in the city and her mother swiftly corrected that statement saying that she merely wants to live close to a Wal-Mart and not in the boonies. Dream big, Jinger. We all have our hopes pinned on her eventual escape from the compound so she can write a fantastic tell-all and live her life happily in the city guzzling cups of forbidden coffee and doing nude photography.

Michelle Duggar

5th Annual Values Voter Summit

(via Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images)

Michelle is the original denim worshiper of the Duggar clan and has passed her savvy fashion sense on to her many daughters. Her eerily calm demeanor creeps us all out as does her slavish devotion to her husband and his sexual desires but it’s her insistence on continuing to want more pregnancies despite her near-menopausal age that really makes her stand out. She has been in the news recently for visiting a fertility specialist to see if she should have more children and also, for giving the world’s most archaic sex advice to her daughters. I do have to admit, though- I need to know what pills she might be taking to remain that calm. I only have two kids and rely on a steady drip of Cabernet so I don’t lose my mind. That aspect of her personality is worthy of admiration and study.

Jim-Bob Duggar

jim bob insta

(via Anna Duggar Instagram)

Lastly, we have good ol’ Jim Bob “Big Daddy” Duggar. He is Lord of his family and their guide in all things spiritual, sexual and otherwise. He had a big year creepily peeping on dates for his daughter Jill and also, getting his daughter Jessa engaged and ready to breed. He believes a woman’s place is in the home and that long, curly hair is where it’s at. There are many who find him super creepy and with good reason- any man that invested in his daughter’s and their virginity is worthy of a healthy dose of side-eye.

(Images: Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images)

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