My Fiancé And I Have Totally Different Parenting Styles And We Probably Should Have Discussed This

Yeah, there’s one BIG thing my fiancé and I forgot to talk about before having a baby. I don’t think, or I hope, I’m not alone. When you are ready for a baby, all you are thinking is, “Maybe this is the month I’ll conceive!” And, then, if you do conceive, you and your partner will only be arguing over names, what kind of crib or stroller you think is safest, and how to decorate the baby’s room.

I’ve come to realize – a little too late – what a couple SHOULD talk about before having a baby is not how you don’t like the name Kelly, because that was the name of the girl who bullied you throughout school, but about PARENTING STYLES.

Oops! It turns out that my fiancé and I have somewhat different parenting styles, which I really only realized in the last few weeks. Our son is 21 months old.

We’re definitely not on the same page when it comes to disciplining, what time the baby should go to sleep, and how to play with him. I don’t like toddlers who eat junk food. I think it’s bad for their teeth and that sugar high? Well, it’s a real thing! I’m not a food Nazi, but I don’t think our son should be eating cookies whenever he wants or Pringles whenever he wants.

Sadly, I’m more of a hard-ass parent than I thought! For example, my son, who I loving call, “The Little Terror,” has learned to punch because his father plays, in my eyes, quite roughly with him. My son loves to wrestle with Dad, and Dad loves wrestling with him. But not every second of the day can be wrestling time, so when my son punched him the other day, out of nowhere, my fiancé did indeed punish him, by sitting him on the staircase for one minute (I told him that for every year of his life that’s the amount of time he needs to be punished. So if he’s 6, he’ll get a six-minute time out.) Not only did my fiancé not see that this was a result of his rough playing but I don’t think our son lasted more than 30 seconds on the stairs before my fiancé was giving him a…cookie.

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