5 Ways To Explain To Your Kid That His Jewish Friend Didn’t Mean To Kill Jesus

easter-jesus-killed

Growing up in an interfaith household, I had some complicated identity issues that were mostly put on me by other peopleI was happy to be a ”halfsie.” We celebrated Chanukah and Christmas and Passover and Easter, and it wasn’t ever a conflict for me. As it stands, Christmas and Passover are my favorite holidays to this day, mostly because in my house, they both involved my mom’s barbeque brisket.

I grew up in a predominantly Jewish part of Los Angeles, and was one of a very small number of Easter-celebrators at my elementary school. I was a bit of pariah among the Christians as the only halfsie, and one kid named Eric took it upon himself to let me know how I had specifically ruined Easter (or caused it).

Eric came up to me and said ”how can your mom and dad live together?” I was only about six so I assumed this was some sort of divorce hysteria, and got immediately nervous. He went on, ”because your dad is Jewish and mom is Catholic.” I calmed down at once and replied with my typical canned line of ” It’s great! Double the presents over winter break!”
”But jews killed Jesus. Isn’t your mom mad at your dad?” Dramatic pause. ”Your dad killed God.”

This was clearly a child not exactly understanding the nuances of religion and taking some misinformation he had heard about history and applying it wrongEric made a lot of jumps that I didn’t follow. I was confusedmy dad talked about God all the time. He made deals with God for Yankee victories (God was pretty busy that day,) talked about how my late grandmother convinced God to send down my sister right after her death so I’d have a new best friend (awesome, G), and seemed equally at ease at a synagogue or church service (the two times a year we went, if that). It didn’t seem like my dad had killed God. Except for that Yankees thing, it seemed like my dad and God were pretty chill. I couldn’t imagine that my dad killed God. Or if he did, it was probably an accident.

Religion is complicated, and it’s easy for wires to get crossed when you’re a small child incapable of synthesizing a lot of abstract information. Throw in some historical inaccuracies that have made their way into Mel Gibson’s brain and non-religious schooling that didn’t offer much clarity and somehow me and my dad had killed Jesus. Who wants to search for Easter eggs?

Because Easter is inextricably linked to the death of Jesus, Jews like me occasionally find themselves defending the actions of their forefathers when it comes to the whole Jesus death thing. And look, most of us just want to eat Easter candy and look at hilarious pictures of bunny costumes, and not have to explain for the millionth time that nobody we’re related to killed your messiah. We’re not a bunch of murderers. Please stop glaring at me.

If your kid gets some facts wrong and becomes very concerned that his or her Jewish friends were responsible for the death of Jesus, here’s five easy ways to calm them down.

1. Look at the facts
who killed jesus

According to historical facts that are not movies called The Passion Of The Christ, some Roman dude named Pontius Pilate ordered Jesus dead. Sure, the Jewish people weren’t totally sold on Jesus or his biggest defender, but he was crucified by Romans. I know this because I googled it, and because I called my parents at 10pm and with no preamble, said ”who killed Jesus?” Thus began a wonderful conversation with my Catholic mother and Jewish father about religion. They both agreed that we really shouldn’t be holding the Jewish people responsible for Jesus’ death.

2. Explain that your kid’s Jewish friend does not hate Jesus, nor you, nor Easter

jesus gif
via Giphy

I can’t speak for all Jewish people, but as a girl who’s got a foot in each camp, I can report back from the Jewish side and say that no one hates you or wants your God dead. Sure, Jewish people don’t think that Jesus and God are the same thing, but the Jews I know are pretty down to let Christians do their thing without hating Jesus. Jesus was a Jew, in fact!

3. Feel free to invite your Jewish friends to join in the fun

easter egg hunt boy
Photo: Becky Wass/Shutterstock

While some parents might object (and you should check first), it’s not the world’s worst idea to invite your kid’s Jewish acquaintances over for the non-religious portion of Easternamely, the Easter egg hunt. Nobody will be trolling your yard for a Jesus to kill. We all just want candy.

4. Teach your kids about multiple religions

scientology stephen colbert gif
Via: Giphy

If your kids have friends of multiple religions or if you have kids at all, teach them about religions that are not their own. That way, your kids won’t go accusing kids of other religions of killing their religious leaders. Also, teach them not to accuse people of murder willy-nilly. It’s rude.

5. Find some common ground

last supper
Photo: Wikipedia

Celebrating both Easter and Passover never felt like any type of cognitive dissonance to me. Both holidays are about rebirth and renewal in some form, and the Last Supper was a Passover Seder. Just because some people go to Church and find eggs while others eat horseradish and charoset doesn’t mean we’re looking at each other with murder in our eyes.

So look, Easter is really awesomeI personally love the day. But it was always a little bittersweet to hear the jokes about killing Jesus while the topic of the big JC’s death was on people’s minds, because I can assure you, I did not kill him, nor did my father, grandfather, or anyone I know. If you’re mad, take it up with Pontius Pilate’s grandkids, who also are not at all at fault. Can’t we all just go find some eggs and celebrate the Spring without throwing around accusations of God-killing? Let us the hell off the hook.

Photo: Wikipedia

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