adopted children

Orphan Davion Only Is Let Down Again Because The Adoption Process Is Heartbreaking

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Davion Only Oct 2013

Florida orphan Davion Only, whose desperate plea to find a family to “love him forever” made him famous, has been removed from his potential adoptive home following a “physical altercation” with the foster father and another child. This poor kid just can’t seem to catch a break, can he? But the problem isn’t simply that his adoption agency has made mistakes or that Davion has anger issues (because of course he does, you would too in his situation). No, it’s that people want to pretend that the adoption process is easier than it is, but aren’t willing to go the distance when things get hard.

In case you don’t remember, Davion has spent 16 years in the system after being abandoned by his mother.Last year Davion made an impassioned speech at St. Marks Missionary Baptist church looking for adoptive parents:

“I’ll take anyone. Old or young, dad or mom, black, white, purple. I don’t care. And I would be really appreciative. The best I could be.”

Davion’s desperation was heartbreaking, and his story went viral, prompting a serious conversation on how difficult it is for older kids in the system to find homes. It didn’t help that Davion’s adoption agency, Eckerd, kept dropping the ball regarding his case (even after over 10,000 people expressed interest in Davion’s story). But eventually, after a close call with another family back in December, there was light at the end of the tunnel for Davion.

Davion was taken from Florida to Ohio to spend a 90 day trial period with a prospective adoptive family, the first step in the adoption process. Davion was with this family for weeks before being removed after the altercation. Now Davion is back in Florida and still looking for a “forever home.” According to ABC News:

“Davion is a maturing young man whose perspective on life continues to change as it does with most teenagers,” read the statement. “After Davion spent time with a prospective adoptive family this spring, it was determined that the family was not the right fit for him, with that we are asking for privacy during this stage of his life.”

I will admit, my first instinct was to be angry with the potential adoptive parents for seemingly throwing Davion away the first time things got rough. But I’m sure we don’t know all the details, and this type of thing is exactly why adoption agencies do the 90 day trial period. I think the real issue here is that no one wants to admit how difficult the adoption process actually is, especially with older kids.

Yes, 10,000 people expressed interest in Davion, but out of that number, how many families were genuinely prepared to care for a child in his situation? Folks see an older adoption candidate and think they will be getting a semi-adult, who can fit right in with their family. But older kids need nurturing too, and I’m sure spending 16 years in the system has given Davion some unique challenges that only a truly prepared and compassionate family will be able to handle.

(Photo: Facebook)