My Kids’ Fathers Can Be More Objective About Their Talents Than I Can
Iâ€™m starting to think so because recently Iâ€™ve been posting on my Facebook page little clips of my daughter singing. I, of course, only put them up because I think sheâ€™s fabulous. Why would I post a clip of my child singing if I thought she sucked? I know sheâ€™s no Celine Dion, but for a 9-year-old, I think sheâ€™s pretty darn good.
I filmed her last singing lesson and sent a copy to her father. I called him later that night and asked him what he thought. â€œWell, I donâ€™t think sheâ€™s going to end up on Broadway, thatâ€™s for sure.â€ Say what? Did he not see what I saw? Did he not hear her voice like I do? I told him I thought he was wrong (this has been our only parental disagreement ever) and that she IS going to end up on Broadway, not because I want her to, but because she wants to. Iâ€™m only doing what I can to help her by getting her singing lessons.
â€œI bet you $50 she will end up on Broadway,â€ I told her father. He took the bet. But then I added, â€œIt could be off-Broadway too.â€ He laughed. But it really got me thinking. I used to be very objective when it came to my daughter. I always tell people â€“ including her â€“ that she wasnâ€™t a very attractive baby. She is, however, now a beautiful girl. (Again, have I lost all objectivity? Is she really as gorgeous as I think she is? Yes!) So I showed my fiancÃ© what I posted on FB, the clips of my daughter singing.
â€œDonâ€™t you think sheâ€™s so good?â€ I asked. â€œTell me honestly. I need to know if Iâ€™m being objective.â€
He took a pause. â€œWell, sheâ€™sâ€¦good.â€
I pressed, â€œBut you donâ€™t think sheâ€™s amazing?â€
He answered in the negative and then told me that his ex wanted his daughter to try out for a higher level soccer team, and his response was, â€œSheâ€™s not good enough.â€ He says, â€œI can be objective. Sheâ€™s just not good enough.â€
So, now Iâ€™m feeling a little idiotic and a little embarrassed. I mean, here I am, posting clips of my daughter singing and apparently Iâ€™m the only one who thinks sheâ€™s awesome. Now Iâ€™m left wondering if all the people who watch her on my Facebook page are thinking, â€œThat mother is insane! She thinks her kid is so fucking amazing and really she SUCKS!â€ and then they are laughing at me behind my back. Or, when they comment, â€œAmazing!â€ are they really just writing that to be nice?
When I spoke to my friends about this, and the fact that my daughterâ€™s own father and my fiancÃ© didnâ€™t think my daughter was all that great a singer, they were all like, â€œAre you kidding? Sheâ€™s great! Sheâ€™s wonderful!â€ Of course, these are my friends and I do expect my friends to lie to me when it comes to my proud mommy moments.
I asked one girlfriend if she thought people would think that I was insane for posting clips of my daughter singing, even though, according to the two MALE figures in her life, sheâ€™s not amazing at all.
â€œTheyâ€™re going to think you are a proud mother. Thatâ€™s all. And they are going to think sheâ€™s cute and talented.â€
How is it that I canâ€™t be objective about my own daughter or son (heâ€™s the cutest baby in the world!) but their fathers can be? My fiancÃ© admitted to me that he didnâ€™t think Holt was all that cute when he was born and just looked like any other baby, while I was like, â€œOh my god. Heâ€™s the cutest little boy ever!â€
Is it just a maternal thing? Do we have softer hearts? Iâ€™m not totally blind, or make that deaf, when it comes to my daughterâ€™s singing. When I listen to her, I can hear when sheâ€™s off pitch, so I guess I can be objective. But still, overall, I think she is pretty good. Make that really good, unlike the men in her life, who I kind of want to punch for being so OBJECTIVE!