If My Daughter Is Raped I Will Take Her To Get An Abortion

What a horrible, awful, terrifying thought. Every night I lie in bed, and ask the universe, please keep my children safe, make them happy and healthy and please don’t let any harm ever come to them. I do everything I can to protect them, to teach them to protect themselves, to look after them, to double-bolt my doors, change my fire alarm batteries, to hold their grubby little hands when we cross the street. I never want my daughter to experience the vicious crime of rape. But every 45 seconds in the United States, someone is sexually assaulted. Sixty-one percent of rape victims are females under the age of 18. One in 15 rape victims become pregnant. If, God forbid, my daughter is ever raped and becomes pregnant due to the attack, I will take her to get an abortion, if this is what she wants.

This is something that makes my skin crawl, my heart ache, my mind to not even be able to comprehend, the idea of anyone ever hurting this amazing child that I gave birth to. She is sacred.  She is the most wonderful thing I have known. But it does happen. It could happen to my daughter, or your daughter. It has happened to many of us, our mothers, our sisters, our co-workers, our friends. It has happened to us by people we know, by strangers. The only good thing to come out about an idiotic statement made by a U.S. Representative for Missouri’s 2nd congressional district is that we are now talking about rape. Brave women are telling their stories. We are making our voices known.

For a woman to be victimized, and then to be victimized again by being forced to carry a child to term that was conceived during a crime is unthinkable. To realize that  in the vast majority of states — 31 — men who father through rape are able to assert the same custody and visitation rights to their children that other fathers enjoy. To think that if my daughter had a child by a rapist she would have to confront her attacker again during visitation is a terrifying fact I would never want my own daughter to deal with. I would support her any way I could if she ever had a child due to rape. I would support her the same if she decided to have an abortion.

A lot of these politicians don’t understand that abortion isn’t something women take lightly. At the very best, it is an uncomfortable experience most women don’t relish having to partake in. At the worst, it is a heartbreaking choice that is not only physically painful, but mentally and emotionally as well. Getting my daughter an abortion after a rape wouldn’t be a joyous occasion, or “no big deal” or something that would make the rape go away. Abortions aren’t something that any of us wish on our daughters, but if the decision is made to get an abortion we want them safe and legal. Abortions, in cases of rape and incest, should always be justifiable. In my opinion, abortions should be safe, legal and rare.

Women don’t have magical uteruses that can tell the difference between rape sperm and love sperm. We can’t decide to shut the whole thing down and have our rapes not result in pregnancy. We can’t decide if today we feel like walking down the street, minding our own business, and then get raped. It doesn’t work that way. I don’t want to be raped. I don’t want anyone to be raped. I don’t want my daughter to be raped.

But, if God forbid, the very very worst thing that can happen, does happen, if she wants to terminate the pregnancy, I will be with her, holding her hand, kissing her brow, and doing everything in my power to help her heal. Until then, I’ll keep wishing and hoping this is a decision she never, ever has to make.

(Photo: Kamira/Shutterstock)

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