Onesie art is where the lame jokes of the world go to die. Can’t get a job writing for late night? If you have a joke so tired and worn out that you can’t even add it to a meme of Kermit drinking tea, go ahead and make a baby onesie out of it. That’s certainly what someone appears to have done with this “dad-safe onesie” idea a Reddit dad found at the store.
The onesie labels the head and arm holes, and then points to the snaps at the bottom and instructs them to be snapped. “This shirt is daddy-proof,” the middle explains.
The joke hinges on the idea that “hur hur, dads are so dumb they don’t know how to put a onesie on. Which part of the baby is the head? What do I do with these things called snaps?”
The dads of Reddit were pissed, and they’re right. This shirt is stupid bullshit. Bumbling dads who do not know how to take care of a baby is one of the most persistent and bewildering tropes about parenting. It makes absolutely zero sense–a grown adult capable of reading the instructions on the box can figure out how a diaper genie works–and yet it persists in commercials, whole movies, and even some video games. (The video game is great, though.)
Most good dads will tell you that if you are a man out in public with a child that is not actively on fire, people will fall all over themselves to congratulate you on having your shit together. They’ll also make some dumb comment like, “Babysitting today?” as though a parent looking after his own dang children is a babysitter.
Or they’ll ask, “Where’s Mom?” and that’s just a terribly stupid question, because mom could be dead. Mom could be out of the picture. “Mom” could be another dad. There are a million possible scenarios in which a person might not want to ask, “Where’s mom?” But it’s a stupid question anyway, because caring for babies is not “women’s work,” and any reasonably intelligent adult male is perfectly capable of caring for his own dang kid.