I Can’t Be Bothered To Buy A Cute Nursing Bra Because I’m Trying To Keep My Man Away From My Boobs

In one of the comment threads of a story yesterday, some readers started talking about cute nursing bras and where to get them. All I could think was, Cute nursing bra? Are you kidding me? In no way do I want my boobs to look any more appealing to my man than they already do.

I’m in month seven of nursing my second child. I feel lucky that breastfeeding came easy to me. Apart from a few weeks of pain in the beginning, it’s really been smooth sailing this time around. There’s only one problem; I don’t want my man coming anywhere near my boobs. I’ve never been able to develop a knack for switching them from feeding receptacles to playthings of joy. I just can’t do it. I’m beginning to wonder how long it will take to get them back on the table.

When you have a child pulling at and sucking on your nipples for 50% of your day – I think it’s pretty normal that they become a no touch zone for the rest of the time, isn’t it? I hate to be a total bummer, but I find nothing even remotely desirable about having my boobs touched right now. I cringe away from every advance. I’m attempting to begin the weaning process; I barely even want her on them anymore and she’s engaging for survival.

Sometimes when I walk through the house and I see my man look at me, it’s almost as if I can hear some super-sexified soundtrack playing in the background. I imagine the wind blowing through my hair and my boobs bouncing delightfully. I imagine this, because this is how he looks at me; like raw meat in a lion’s den. I guess that’s what happens when you are deprived of something you love.

As much as I love my husband and appreciate that he finds me irresistible, there will be no cute nursing bras in my near future. No cute bras, period. I don’t want these things to be any more desirable than they already are.

Now, how do I get my infant to lose interest?

(photo: Getty Images)

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