10 Strange Vintage Kids Ads That Will Give You The Creeps
Was everyone back in the day on acid? Because that is the only thing that explains the sheer volume of crazy shenanigans that goes on in vintage ads. This is especially true for old fashioned ads with kids in them. It’s gotta be either acid or every child born between 1900 and 1970 creepy as hell. We’ve talked about this before, but since this is the gift that keeps on giving (thanks, 1960’s ad men!), here are 10 more creep-tastic vintage kids to haunt your nightmares.
10. Sinister Sesame Street
That kid is totally pointing on a map and saying “This is where you’re house is, and we’re coming to eat your SOUL!!!!”
9. You dirty boy!
Why is that old witch looking woman trying to ear-torture that poor kid. And why does she sound so gross doing it?
7. Whatever the hell this is
What the actual fuck is going on here? Whatever it is, it will haunt the hellish dreamscape that is my nocturnal dozing. What does this nightmarish fuckery have to do with grain and grass machinery?!
6. Insert Soylent Green Joke Here…
“Don’t worry, Billy, it’s not people…well, not anymore!”
5. Kodak moment or…Hansel and Gretel
Doesn’t it look like some awful fresh hell is about to fall down that chimney into those poor, unsuspecting kids. All while evil mom watches with her stupid camera? No, that’s just me? I think I’ve watched too many horror films.
4. Giant Kool-Aid Monster
That giant, orange mofo is about to yell “OH YEAH” as he squashes those trick-or-treaters into a pile of polyester-wearing goo.
3. Hot diggety dog!
That kid is WAY too excited about this hot dog. On another note, remember when all it took to write a good advertisement was to mention how much the product wasn’t poisoning you? Look ma, no MSG or Arsenic! WOW!
2. It isn’t raisin bran…
…it’s the blood of thy enemies!
1. I’ll get you my pretty…and your lemonade mustache too!
This kid looks all kinds of evil. I wonder what diabolical shenanigans he has cooking in his obviously messed up brain/. I have a feeling about 10 of them involve his totally oblivious little sister there.
