Arizona Parents Want To Hire A ‘Really Really Skinny’ Person To Food Shame Their Brats At The Dinner Table

If you live in the Scottsdale area outside of Phoenix and you feel like terrorizing some young children about their wasteful dinnertime habits, than this is the gig for you! Except you don’t get paid. And you can’t be a meth addict. And you also need to have a “claw-like hand” and be able to whimper on demand. According to the posting:

My kids are becoming really picky eaters and arn’t finishing their plates. I told them “There are starving people out there who would love to have that,” but they don’t seem to get it. I would like to force them to throw away the food from their unfinished plates in front of someone who is really really skinny who will act hungry.

Because, you know, having some stranger come into your house and act hungry makes a lot more sense than maybe taking your kids to volunteer at a soup kitchen for a few weekends. Or reading them some age appropriate articles about world hunger. Or letting them decide how much food to put on their plates. Or not giving them dessert if they don’t finish their dinners. Or saving their leftovers and feeding them that for breakfast. I can think of a whole mess of better tactics than hiring someone off Craigslist to come over and act hungry.

I’d love for you to get into the role. Maybe a wide-eyed-whimper and extension of an emancipated claw/hand as the meatloaf slides into the trash can. Must be able to pull off dejected as you sulk away.

 

Okay, so lemme get this straight: these parents want to teach their kids about hunger by hiring (for no pay) a really really skinny stranger of the Internet . This person comes over, The parents have them watch their kids eat dinner and when the kids don’t finish the dinner the skinny person whimpers, reaches their claw-like hand into the garbage and acts ejected as they walk away?

How do the parents explain all this to their kids?

Jimmy and Susie, this person is extremely hungry. Because you didn’t finish your dinner, I want you to go throw that meatloaf away. See how they are reaching for it? This hungry person really wants this meatloaf. Look at how much they whimper when they walk away. Hungry people would love to eat that meatloaf so next time finish your dinner.

 

I don’t know, I think the message this would be sending to the kids is:

Mom and dad are assholes because we had a starving person in our house and we wouldn’t even give them the skanky leftover meatloaf on your plate  that you were going to throw away anyway

The ad concludes with this:

I’d love to avoid meth skinny for obvious reasons. Also actual hunger skinny because that meatloaf is staying in the trash. Also would like to avoid some sort of body-image-malfunction skinny because my daughter is so impressionable right now (which is why it’s prime time to teach this lesson). My #1 choice would be parasite skinny, but I know chances of finding that are slim.

 

So any person with a tapeworm problem feel free to answer this ad to go work for no money terrorizing kids!

There are far better ways of teaching your kids about nutrition and not wasting food and the very real problem of hunger we have in this country. Give them smaller servings. Stop feeding them so much garbage and filling them up on juice between meals. Let them help in the kitchen so they are more likely to eat what they help prepare. Start a small backyard or container garden together and teach them about where food comes from. Make regular trips to your local food bank and teach kids about donating and making the world a better place for hungry people in your community.

I wonder if the parents who placed this ad ever stopped to consider that maybe their kids aren’t actually picky eaters, but maybe it’s just that their meatloaf recipe really, really sucks.

(Photo:  Blaj Gabriel/shutterstock)