For The Last Time, Pets And Children Are Not The Same Thing

Someone posted an ad to a Las Vegas Craigslist community pets page that advertises “rehoming a child” because of a new puppy. Cute. For the last time, pets and children are not the same thing. Repeat after me, pets and children are not the same thing. 

craigslist-rehome-child-ad

The ad says:

Please help! After two long years of being on a waiting list for an exotic rare breed dog, we were finally notified by the breeder that at long last, our number has come up, and… WE’RE HAVING A PUPPY!

I’m assuming that’s attempting to poke fun of people who have trouble conceiving? I get the point that this couple is trying to make — but seriously? It’s a dumb comparison. They go on to describe their children in detail, saying they are “Temperament tested. Current on all shots. Tonsils removed already and very healthy condition!” The ad becomes even less funny when you realize there are actually people who have tried to do this with their children.

We really LOVE our children, and want to do what is best for them. I hope you understand, that ours is a UNIQUE situation, and we have a real emergency here! They MUST be placed by Sunday night at the latest or we will be forced to bring them to an orphanage or have them put to sleep. We are asking a reasonable fee of $750 per child but will do $1200 if you take both.

There are horrible people in the world who do horrible things. I’m not arguing that there may be some people who quite literally toss their pets out if they become a nuisance after children arrive — but I would argue that it’s the exception and not the rule. Rehoming a pet or even realizing you have to come to that decision after you have kids is incredibly difficult. Yes, I am projecting. I have a pet that hates my children — and honestly — if I could find a good home for her I would.

People always say, “don’t adopt a pet that you aren’t willing to make a 15-year-commitment to!” Shut up. There’s a little something called “life” that happens. I had no idea that when I adopted my cute little kitty she would be unwilling to bond with any other human but myself. I was a single woman in my twenties living with a room mate when I got her. She warmed up to the room mate a little. 

Then I began dating the future father of my children. Again, she warmed up to him a little, but hated his six-year-old daughter. This was a little girl who loved animals, too — not some kid who pulls tails and terrorizes them. For the five years we lived together in Brooklyn, that cat would routinely terrorize my step daughter when she came over for visits; chasing her, swatting at her, trapping her in her room at times. It was ridiculous.

Then we had a child together. My cat never swatted at him when he was an infant, just came around sniffing and hissing. Same thing happened with our second child. Kid number one is essentially terrified of the cat and kid number two has already started yelling “no!” when the cat comes near her because she’s been scratched several times.

Back to this ridiculous ad:

You wouldn’t do this to a child, it’s not acceptable to do to an animal! If you can’t dedicate 10-15 years to a animal, don’t get one. Giving an animal up should be a last resort action, based on unforeseen circumstances beyond your control or ability to change. Animals are not things to be disposed of like a toy that no longer interests your child, a hobby that takes too much time, or a family member that all the sudden is inconvenient.
I would call a pet trying to harm your child a circumstance beyond your control. Yes, I knew my cat was an asshole before I had kids. Should I have not had kids so my cat could live out her years in bliss? Nope. Sorry. Not willing to derail my whole life-plan because I have a cat who wants to be alone with me 24/7. And I know there are going to be a ton of people calling me a horrible human, because whenever someone admits they love their children more than their pets — the internet explodes. 
Whatever. I love my kids more than my cat. If I could find an adult cat a decent home I would. So screw this couple, screw this ad, and screw anyone who thinks that rehoming pets is an easy decision. Sancti-pet-owners are worse than Sanctimommies any day. Stop judging families whose situation you know nothing about. 
(photo: Craigslist)

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