Gift This: 10 Christmas Gifts That Will Make Parents Hate You

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crappy Christmas GiftYears ago, before I had children, I bought my nephew a handmade marshmallow gun from a Renaissance Faire as his Christmas gift. He was five-years-old at the time and I thought I was sure to win the award for Best Aunt Ever. My sister-in-law wanted to kill me. Now that I’m a mom I realize my faux pas and will do penance for my crime with this handy list of items you should never buy for a child that isn’t your own. Here’s 10 types of Christmas gifts that will make parents hate you.

1. Messy art supplies.

You want my child to unleash their inner Picasso, I want you to discover the magic that is Crayola Color Wonder.

2. Toys that make fart sounds.

Whoopie cushions, tubs of goo, things you buy at Spencer’s. Gifts like these might make you the favorite uncle, but they will also make you my least favorite brother.

3. Pets.

Yes, Christmas commercials featuring puppies with giant bows give us all a case of The Feels. But what those ads don’t show you is the part directly afterwards where the puppy tries to eat tinsel off the Christmas tree and promptly vomits on all the gifts. Unless you get an enthusiastic “Yes” from Mom and Dad ahead of time, all gifts should not now, nor have ever been, breathing.

4. Toys with small parts.

Chances are the living room of any parent is already a minefield of Legos. Please don’t add to our pain- literally.

5. Batteries not included.

There is nothing worse than having to explain to your child that they can’t play with a new toy because you’re all out of the required batteries. Wait, I lied- there is something worse having to bundle up and go out in the cold to get said batteries.

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