Your Favorite Baby Name Will Be Ruined By Stupid Exes And High School Frenemies

Baby naming is a task that every couple takes seriously. Once you find out you’re pregnant and text all of your friends and splash the good news all over Facebook, you have nothing to do but sit and stew in your pregnant juices for nine long months.

The only thing you have to look forward to is a possible gender reveal (if you so choose) at 20 weeks, creating a registry, and narrowing down your list of baby names before that sucker is born. That’s it. That’s all pregnancy has to offer””sorry to spoil it for you.

You may choose a baby name early on, and you may decide to keep it a secret. Many couples keep their cards close to their chests because they don’t want other jerks criticizing or even stealing their number one name.

If you’re brave or possibly insane, you may decide to share your unborn baby’s name with friends and family. If you’re still on the fence or are batting around a few contenders, this activity is not recommended.

The first time you share potential baby names, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Everyone you know will have some kind of opinion about or association with a name you thought was perfectly fine.

“Dylan is the name of a high school quarterback douche bag! Trust me, I knew two of them.”

“Maybe you should use Zoe as a middle name instead. The biggest slut in my high school was named Zoe, and I’m pretty sure that she got (STAGE WHISPER) pregnant.”

“Um, I dated a guy named William in college, and he had this strange nervous tic that was, like, really distracting when you talked to him. He was really smart, but he also had a foot fetish. Just saying.”

Thanks, peanut gallery. It’s awesome to have your top baby names dashed to pieces just because someone knew someone who thought Trevor was a dick in high school. Everyone has baby name associations and aversions directly related to people from their past. If you don’t want to hear about an ex-boyfriend or frenemy named fill-in-the-blank, keep your baby name a secret.

(Image: KonstantinChristian/Shutterstock)