Chocolate-Covered Brussels Sprouts Are the Best Way to Ruin Halloween

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Are you a monster? A trash person with garbage where your heart should be? When you leave the room, does Cruella De Ville perform a mean-spirited but catchy song about you behind your back? Or maybe you’re a gentle soul who just feels that her house would look better covered with eggs and toilet paper. Whatever your reasons for trying to ruin Halloween, have I ever got a prank for you: Chocolate-covered Brussels sprouts.

The idea was posted by evil genius Mark Sparrow, and it’s pretty clever. Brussels sprouts are exactly the size and shape of high-end chocolates, so if you roll them around in melted chocolate for a bit, everyone will think they’re about to get a delicious caramel truffle. Not all truffles are good, but if you saw one of these you’d think the worst-case scenario would be one of those strawberry cremes or something. Nobody would see this coming.

Twitter looooves this idea. One guy even suggested wrapping the chocolate-covered sprouts in Ferrero Rocher wrappers.

An extra benefit to that is that Ferrero Rocher are prime bait for candy-stealing parents, so it’d be the parents getting schooled for stealing their kids’ candy. Sparrow’s tweet has been shared more than 10,000 times, so any parents of teenagers should probably think twice about stealing Ferrero Rocher out of their kids’ baskets this year.

Another fellow suggested the Toffee Onion as an appropriate prank. Onions do look about the size of apples, though I’d be surprised if you couldn’t smell the onion coming before taking a bite out of it.

 Sure, nobody eats homemade Halloween candy and these wouldn’t really work on trick-or-treaters, but pranking trick-or-treaters isn’t fun anyway. Who pranks strange kids? That’s just weird and sad.

If you’re going to prank anyone, it should be someone you love and care about, and especially someone whose reaction you’ll get to see. If, for a hypothetical example that does not at all come from my own life, your spouse has a bad habit of giving you chocolates as gifts and then eating all of them, this particular form of retribution could be tremendous fun. (We’ll just assume you aren’t actually evil and wouldn’t do that if your spouse had a Brussels sprout allergy or something like that.)

Nobody’s actually going to go to the trouble of making chocolate-covered Brussels sprouts to prank the little Buzz Lightyears and Winnies the Pooh who come trick-or treating on Halloween, but this is still a good prank to have up one’s sleeve for when one needs a good prank to play. And anyway, chocolate-covered Brussels sprouts are still better than candy corn.