being a mom

Child Therapist Explains to Blogger What Good Parenting Actually Looks Like

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Being a mom is incredibly hard work. It’s hard emotionally, mentally, even physically. It’s the most demanding. There are no breaks (even when you sleep, your kid might wake you) and no vacations (even if you get a sitter, you’re still thinking about your children). Because of that, it’s easy for many of us to feel worn out, and frustrated. We can even at times feel like we’re failing our children, like we’re bad parents. But sometimes, someone comes along to remind us we’re doing just fine—like this therapist did who told one blogger exactly what good parenting looks like.

Constance Hall, an Australian blogger for the site LikeAQueen, recently posted an interaction she had with a child therapist friend of hers on to her Facebook page. The post has since gone viral, garnering over 344k likes and 167k shares in just two days. In the post, Hall features a photo of herself with two of her children sitting at a restaurant. It’s a somewhat chaotic and familiar scene. Both kids are blurry because little ones rarely sit still. And both are all over their mama, because that’s what children tend to do. Hall’s post begins like this:

A couple of weeks ago a child therapist that I know looked at my kids and said,

“You’re such a good mum”

Feeling like a total fraud I blurted, “I don’t feel like a good mum. The kids are driving me so crazy, I’m losing my temper and falling asleep at night wondering where I’m going got get the patients [sic] for another day”

This is fairly relatable, isn’t it? Anyone with kids, no matter how patient and understanding they are, has a breaking point. I know that even though my son spends a lot of time at preschool, he quickly exhausts me within minutes on some days, running around with his toy lawn mower or driving his cars all over my body (because mommy makrs a good race track). And boy do I feel guilty if I end up putting on Finding Dory for him again rather than engage in active play because I’m just too worn out that day.

But I know I’m not alone. Neither is Hall. Neither are any of us. Here’s what the therapist told her, and it’s worth keeping in mind for all of us:

“Babies cry, it’s how they communicate. Toddlers scream, children whinge and teenagers complain.
Then mums say the words ‘for fuck sake under their breath before every responding. It’s how we communicate.

But guess what Con? It’s better then silence.

A house full of screaming kids and fighting teenagers and a parent who’s being thrown every question and request is a healthy one to me.
It’s the silent children, the scared toddlers, the teenagers that don’t come home and the parents who aren’t in communication with their children that I worry about.

And kids don’t drive you crazy, you were crazy already. That’s why you had them.”

Nailed it, didn’t she? You can see the full post below:

So next time you’re losing your shit, mama. Remember. It’s way better than silence, than being ignored, than nothing at all.

(Image: Facebook / Constance Hall)