Channing Tatum Made Up Stripper Names for All His Hollywood Friends, and It’s Hilarious
Channing Tatum is something of an expert on stripping. Not only has he made a fortune with his Magic Mike dude strippers movie franchise, he was a real stripper himself for a while, and he’s perfectly happy to bust out some of those Channing Tatum stripper moves now and again. (Though he’s also just as likely to put on an Elsa wig and lip sync to Let It Go, because Channing Tatum has gone Peak Dad in recent years.) Now he’s launching a Magic Mike Live! show in Las Vegas, and at last night’s opening he decided to take the opportunity to make up stripper names for all his famous Hollywood actor friends.
It turns out Channing Tatum is very good at making up stripper names! He’s basically a human version of that Twitter meme where you find your spy name by combining your middle name and the last thing you ate. (My spy name is Fisher Dumpling, and I don’t think he’s going to be saving the queen any time soon.)
Tatum dubbed Harry Styles “The English Muffin,” which is pretty on point. When asked to make one up for George Clooney the word “Debonaire” jumped out of his mouth before he even had time to think of anything to pair it with. (He went with “Dog leg” in the end.) And when they put up a picture of Tatum’s BFF and 21 Jump Street costar Jonah Hill, he just cracked up and dubbed him The Unicorn.
An extremely tan and ripped Zac Efron is dubbed “The Rusty Sparkplug.”
And of course Samuel L. Jackson, should he ever decide to become a professional stripper, would just be called “Mother Fucking Samuel L. Jackson.”
That should probably just be on his driver’s license.
Channing Tatum is pretty good at coming up with stripper names. He should really consider coming up with a stripper name generating app, or at least a Facebook meme. (It’d be a bit more entertaining than the “What 10 bands have I seen live?” meme that took over Facebook lat week.
The whole video of Channing Tatum coming up with funny stripper names for all Hollywood’s most famous actors is pretty funny, but it does raise one very serious question: What on Earth was Channing Tatum’s real stripper name?