new born baby

10 Cat Toys You Should Buy Instead Of Baby Toys

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If you can tell the difference between Sophie the Giraffe and a squeaky cat toy from PetCo, you are a better person than I am.

My house is now stuffed to the brim with posh baby stuff, and I’m positive it would have been more economical to just go to the pet store. Cat toys and baby toys are basically the same and they’re way less expensive. Some cat toys even look like they were specifically designed with the discerning human infant in mind. Check out these cat toys that you should buy for your baby.

1. Nylabone Dinosaur, $4.99

This nylon dinosaur is chic and monochromatic for the sophisticated, minimalist naturalist in training. Just imagine the envious looks you will get when you tell people your infant loves dinosaurs and monochromatism. Also, it freshens the baby’s terrible baby breath. Score! Sophie the Giraffe is for plebeians.

2. CatFishing Ipad Game

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Cats will spend hours catching fish on this iPad. So will your baby. Your baby probably won’t scratch up the screen like the cat, but the cat is not going to put the iPad in its diaper either, so this one is a draw.

3. This Louis Vuitton Cat Carrier, $2,940

That lady with the Bugaboo stroller will never look down her nose at your infant transport again when you have your kid stuffed in a $3,000, LV-monogramed work of art like this one. (The lady with the baby wrap still will, though.)

4. Pet Safe Freedom Door, $49.99

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This handy door lets babies come in and out as they please, which should give them all the access they need to the backyard for potty training. If any neighbors give you stink eye, just practice sniffing haughtily and saying, “Keeping babies cooped up inside all day is just so American.” Bonus points if you can fake a French accent.

5. Smart Cat Multi-Level Cat Climber, $87.83

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You can’t tell me your toddler would not be all over this door-mounted climbing tree.

6. The Roomba, $494.99

This is the fastest path I can think of to cleaning your house and making your baby a YouTube sensation.

7. Gray Cat Tree, $26.34

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My kid has been lying under some dangling toys on a dumb baby gym for like an hour, and I just realized this one is exactly the same thing, but it is a more stylish color and costs only $26.

8. Petmate Pet Bowl, $7.80

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I know this is for cats, but you have to admit it is perfect for babies. It’s stainless steel and dishwasher safe so it’s easy to clean, and the wide, weighted bottom makes it more difficult for the baby to spill. Try this and some of the Cheerios might stay on the table for once.

9. Turbo Cat Toy, $11.19

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For all intents and purposes, this trapped-ball cat toy is basically the same thing as this fancy wire ball thing.

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10. Peek-a-Prize Toy Box, $27.99

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The above cat toy is a way fancier and more complicated version of the Montessori Object Permanence Box.

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So instead of shelling out for the tiny version, just go all the way and get your kid the biggest, fanciest box-with-holes-in that you can find at the pet store.