I Can’t Wait To Date My Sons

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I always assumed that I would have a daughter, just because I am one. I’ve always had several girlfriends, and I love talking, giggling, and gossiping with the girls. That was probably what I was subconsciously looking forward to in my relationship with my hypothetical daughter that will never be. I have two sons, and I am done having kids.

When I found out I was having my second son, I changed my tune completely. I was never dead set on having a girl; I just assumed it would happen. When I found out that both of my children were boys, I was truly happy. Since I already had one son, I felt a kind of relief that I could just focus on raising boys.

I know that there are several caveats to this since boys don’t always like boy things, and I don’t want to force my sons into anything. There is also the topic of gender identity, and I will support my sons in whatever they choose. But right now, I am a mother of boys, and I embrace it completely. I’m the only woman in an all-boy house, and I get to give my sons their first glimpse of what a girl is like.

Ever since my sons were babies, I’ve talked to my husband about how I can’t wait to take them out on a date. One-on-one, just the two of us—and I promise it isn’t as creepy as it sounds. I just want to be able to bond with them individually, and I also want to teach them manners and respect while I’m at it. A mother and son date, where my son dresses up and opens the door for me and pays for dinner with my money, is at the top of my bucket list.

I know my husband and I will have plenty of family time with our boys, and I know that he will also take them out for father and son stuff. Maybe it will be stereotypical, like football games and fishing, or maybe it will be tailored to their specific interests, yet to be determined.

I do remember one of my fondest memories with my dad was when he took me out for a fancy dinner “date.” I’m sure that the restaurant wasn’t as impressive or costly as it seemed to me at 15, but I was bowled over. My parents were divorced at the time, so I got to dress up and wait for my dad to pick me up for dinner.

When we got to the restaurant, we got the works: appetizers, entrées, and desserts. Of course, I wasn’t old enough for wine, but they filled up my water in a fancy wineglass. My dad ordered for me, and we sat at an intimate table for two and talked without any distractions. My dad and I are currently working on our relationship, but it truly was one of my best memories with him.

Because of this, I can’t wait to offer the same experience to each of my sons. Maybe they’ll hate it, maybe they’ll resist, and I certainly won’t force them to go to a nice dinner with me if they don’t want to. But besides the bonding time, the ritual is necessary. I want my sons to be prepared for the real world and to learn how to treat women respectfully. I want to “date” my sons, so that I can spend some quiet time with them while we share a nice meal, and so that I can teach them how to do the same for their future dates.

(Image: bikeriderlondon/Shutterstock)