being a mom

My 8-Year-Old Daughter Is Not Cool Because She Acts Like An 8-Year-Old

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Am I raising a nerd? I’m very supportive of my kid’s interests and clothing preferences and to be honest, she just doesn’t seem to care about the things girls in her age bracket care about. She loves her dolls and books. She has never asked for more mature clothing or to see the Twilight movies. But I know when she gets off the bus, her face crestfallen and shoulders slumped, that being teased for being who she is bothers her. And I don’t know how to stop it.

Her father and I can tell her about how to be a good friend and being true to herself and that it’s what’s inside that matters. We can remind her of the golden rule. We can cheer her when she is sad, applaud her when she does the right thing, encourage her to be her own little person, with her own little opinions and her own little convictions. I can call the parents of the girls who exclude or insult her and nicely ask them to speak to their daughters. It usually lessens after these phone calls. But I need to find ways to help my daughter make her own way.

Girl on girl crime sucks it. I’m sure a lot of us can remember feeling excluded at some point during our school years. I don’t remember how I dealt with it, but I remember feeling and acting the same way my daughter is now. Maybe if I were a cooler mom, if I learned more about what makes girls her age tick and what interests them, I could somehow steer my daughter towards being one of the cool kids. But I think she is perfect just the way she is. I know as she grows that things will change. I know soon enough she will stop curling up on my lap to read a book or requesting baby dolls for birthdays. I know maybe one day she may be the kid being unkind when someone asks her to play a game she has no interest in. But for now I’m just kissing her forehead and hoping these little heartbreaks can be soothed by the few girls who do want to be her friend.

(photo: Allison Hays – Allicat Photography /shutterstock)

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