Breastfeeding Boobs Are Great – Just Not When We Use Them To Actually Feed Our Children

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shutterstock_74860747Nothing like spending a few minutes watching the Neanderthals on TMZ to remind me how completely screwed up our society is in regards to how we view breastfeeding women. It seems we just love breastfeeding boobs – just not when we use them to actually feed our children.

The TMZ video is called, “Kourtney Kardashian After Baby – HOT Mom Boobs On The Beach.” It basically just shows a picture of her on the beach in a bikini with her son. Thankfully for all the men on TMZ, she’s not actually breastfeeding – that would be gross. But they do enjoy ogling her milk-filled breasts, falling back on the oldest joke on the planet that her enormous breastfeeding boobs are making it impossible for them to notice anything else in the picture, namely her 3-year-old son. Because we all know that men just can’t function in the presence of boobs. Yawn.

One of the – what do I call these idiots, anyway? Reporters? That seems wrong. I’ll just refer to them as “schoolchildren” since that’s how they’re acting. One of the schoolchildren in the room ingeniously adds his two cents to the conversation by yelling “Breast feeder! Breast feeder!” That weird guy that does the narrating of the show adds,”Kourtney recently just had her second kid and is sporting one – two – of the amazing benefits of the miracle of childbirth – giant juggs! Revel in it boys!”

Yeah, but don’t revel for too long! One of these geniuses with a strong grasp of post-partum issues adds, “Okay all you guys in here right now, you know those things are sore, and scabbed up, and like – hating life. And they drip. They leak,” as the rest of the “newsroom” explodes in anger – very disappointed that he’s ruined their moment by reminding them all that actual milk comes out of those breasts. “What is wrong with you? You usually love the mom boobs?” One of his colleagues asks. Gah! Somebody help me.

With women constantly being harassed for breastfeeding, this video just confuses me. Do we like breastfeeding boobs or not? Oh yeah – we love them. Just as long as they’re not being used to actually feed our children, raining on the parade of men like these by reminding them that the boobs might inevitably get all scabby and leaky and stuff.


(photo: Joe Seer/