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Breast Milk Pills Are Good News For At-Risk Babies, Bad News For The Craigslist Milk Market

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breast milk pump office settingThere are probably a lot of breastfeeding women who have heard the tales of weightlifters buying human breast milk on Craigslist and thought, “Hmm…” But unfortunately for all of us entrepreneurial, lactating mammals, it sounds like the bottom is about to fall out of the Craigslist market for breast milk for adults, because some researchers at UC Davis have figured out how to create a dietary supplement out of human breast milk.

According to CBS, scientists have formulated a probiotic dietary supplement out of the “good bacteria” in human breast milk. It was reportedly originally designed to help cure intestinal troubles in adults and at-risk babies, but if the paleo-dieting weight lifters chugging strangers’ breast milk are anything to go by, this product could be lining the shelves of your local GNC in no time.

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According to Dr. Bruce German of UC Davis, the “good bacteria” in human breast milk cannot be digested. It hangs out in the gut and “starves out” the bad bacteria that cause intestinal problems. German and his team have successfully separated those healthful bacteria and turned them into pills and–wait for it–powders, which can be eaten.

German says the science is there, now he’s just working on a marketing angle that will make people think it is less gross.

“When we consume cheese or when we consume other fermented products, we consume microorganisms,” he said. “In this case we consume bacteria that will help us with lots of things.”

Honestly, I don’t think he needs to worry nearly that much about this. All he has to do is say it will make people healthier, thinner, younger-looking, or more attractive, and people will beat a path to his door. It worked for stem cell face creams and pheromone perfumes. If he can do that, human breastmilk probiotics will be available as a Boost at Jamba Juice in no time.