Brad Pitt’s Chanel No. 5 Ad Doesn’t Make Me Want To Bear His Children – Or Buy Chanel No. 5

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Sexy women have long been used to sell anything and everything to their male counterparts.  So it makes sense that Chanel would use Brad Pitt, People Magazine’s two-time sexiest man alive to sell their signature fragrance.  Until you see the commercial, that is.  Then it makes no sense whatsoever.

The shot is of Pitt, standing fully clothed in a slight sepia-toned room with distressed-finished walls.  He is reciting some weird poem that makes no sense.  I’m sure he didn’t write it – but I surrender myself to the fantasy of advertising, get lost in the poem, and imagine for a moment that he is my life partner and father of my children.  That’s what I’m supposed to do, right?  I mean, he is the most famous family man in the world.

He speaks in metaphors that leave me insecure and confused.  Every journey ends but we go on.  The world turns and we turn with it … but wherever I go, there you are.  Yes, I’m here.  Do you need some space?  Plans disappear, dreams take over … Do you want me to wear the Chanel or not?  Where are the kids?  Do you even know?  Are you stoned?

If you are going to use the sexiest man alive to sell your product, wouldn’t it make more sense to have him half-naked, rolling around in sand or something?  Oh but wait – we’re women.  The only things we think about are procreation and Pinterest.  So we totally appreciate the faux-finish paint job on the wall behind him and his archaic poem.  Call me a purist, but I would rather see shots of Nicole Kidman running around Times Square in an awesome dress.

Sorry Brad.  You are the hottest family man alive, but this ad doesn’t make me want to bear your children – or buy Chanel No. 5.

(photo: Featureflash /