Bored Moms Have Made The Tooth Fairy Ridiculously High Maintenance”

Between my two kids, we have five loose teeth in our family right now. The Tooth Fairy is definitely on my mind these days. I have always been a simple “dollar under the pillow” kind of mom but I figured in our Elf on the Shelf world of mystical childhood magic, there had to be parents over-doing it for the simple act of a kid losing teeth. Of course, what parents choose to focus on is their prerogative, but come on. Kids will lose 20 baby teeth over the course of their childhood. Are parents really ready to roll out the Tooth Fairy glittery, red carpet all 20 times this happens? Clearly, I represent the under-achiever side of the coin but Pinterest is full of ideas for how to go overboard with recognizing this childhood milestone. I have gathered here some of the best examples of high-maintenance Tooth Fairy extremism for your perusal:

1. Tooth Fairy Reports

There exists on Pinterest a plethora of printables so you can have an official means of evaluating the quality of your child’s tooth from the point-of-view of the Tooth Fairy. How about…

nope louis ck

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2. A Tooth Fairy Door

I’m sorry, maybe I’m new here, but isn’t your kid’s pillow the Tooth Fairy door? Apparently, that’s not whimsical enough for some as there are tutorials for creating a twee little fairy portal for the Tooth Fairy to enter through.

no time for that

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3. Glittery Messes

If you totally hate yourself and enjoy wasting time cleaning, you could always go the glitter route. Here’s an idea for glitter-stamping a tooth shape onto paper money or you could leave a fancy streak of glitter under the kid’s pillow or on a window sill. Because nothing says Good Use Of My Time like cleaning up glitter.

amy kidding me

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4. Make The Tooth Fairy Do Confetti Poops In Your Toilet

Jesus Christ. Check this out– drop shiny confetti into the toilet and leave a note about the fairy “having to tinkle.” I only wish I were making this up.

lucille eye roll

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5. Photoshopped Tooth Fairy Creeper Pics

Oh, good grief. This exists and I really just can’t. Take a photo of your sleeping child to upload to the website and then, Photoshop the Tooth Fairy into the picture. Is this really where we are headed, parents?

don't get it

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6. The Elf Helps The Tooth Fairy

In what I can only dub the most unholy of unions, you could enlist your Elf on the Shelf to “help” the Tooth Fairy. Worlds colliding in the lamest of ways. Although, I would like to tie up that creepy little Elf with dental floss. That sounds downright therapeutic.

srsly guise

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In conclusion, a dollar under the pillow is pretty damn thrilling for a first grader and I just don’t think the theatrics are necessary. Why keep setting the bar so high? It will only get more difficult to astound your small child if everything they do gets the Pinterest treatment. What’s next, sprinkling glitter on their first poop on the potty? BRB, going to look that up as it most certainly already exists.

(Image: pushkin/Shutterstock)

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