Every Conversation You Have On A Parenting Message Board Is The Worst Ever

angry woman yelling at laptopIf you are or ever have been a member of a birth month message board, you’ll be well aware that every single conversation tends to follow one particular pattern: non-controversial parenting statement or question > out-of-left-field overreaction > made up statistics > liberal use of the word ‘sheeple’ > flouncing. This is especially true for the amazing Internet microcosm that is What To Expect’s “Hot Topics” board. If you’ve been thinking about joining one of these boards, let me save you the trouble by summarizing every single birth month message board thread that has even been written.

LindsayK    11/25/13 3:07 PM

Hey guys! This is my first time posting, but I’ve been reading here for a while. My little guy is seven months old, and we’ve really been struggling to get him to drink out of a sippy cup at any meal. Does anyone have advice on how to help him? And what kind of sippy cups do you use/recommend? Thanks!!

mackynzies_mom    11/25/13 3:12 PM

wow. I respect my kid as a human and certainly I’m not going to infantilize my baby by handing him a sippy cup. So we are a free drinking household. The mess is totally worth it, at least if you love your kid as much as I do. Plus, your son will probably love eating every meal in a swimsuit! It’s really the only ethical choice you can make here.

mommamoomoo    11/25/13 3:14 PM

You mean you’re not still exclusively breastfeeding? omg. are you serious? unbelievable

mommamoomoo   11/25/13 3:16 PM

formula is terrible, if you don’t believe me just check this link:

mommamoomoo   11/25/13 3:18 PM


mommamoomoo   11/25/13 3:19 PM

sorry, I’m on mobile, did the link work this time?

LindsayK    11/25/13 3:31 PM

It’s not that big of a deal, you guys. I just want some ideas for sippy cups. If you don’t use sippy cups just don’t read the thread.

mackynzies_mom    11/25/13 3:39 PM

Did your so-called “pediatrician” tell you it was okay to give your innocent child a sippy cup? Big Medicine doesn’t want you to know that 107% of children who use sippy cups will end up with deformed dental palate. And guess who’s going to be stuck forking over thousands of dollars in orthodontia costs? You are. Because you were too lazy to give your child a drink the natural way, from your wholesomely cupped hands, like our ancestors did as they knelt before pure, totally-uncontaminated-by-feces streams and rivers.

LindsayK    11/25/13 3:41 PM

Sippy cups damage teeth? Seriously? Do you have a source for that statistic?

she_wow    11/25/13 3:42 PM

ur breastfeeding? thats disgusting. my boobs = belong to my husband ONLY. liek the rest of my body. & my opinions.

ask8818    11/25/13 3:51 PM


mackynzies_mom    11/25/13 3:55 PM

LindsayK, do you think I’m your servant? Where’s your proof that sippy cups AREN’T the biggest threat to our children’s teeth since fluoridated water? It sounds to me like you don’t even care how inhumanely you’re treating your poor son. I bet you vaccinate, too. I hope someone calls CPS on your ass.

darlaD    11/25/13 4:10 PM

omg, I didn’t know about that about sippy cups. Scary!! Researching freedrinking now – thanks for the tip! Do you have a good site I can read to get unbiased info?

mackynzies_mom    11/25/13 4:15 PM


jamberryjill    11/25/13 4:31 PM

If your lil sweetie has orthodontia problems, message me – I have some elderberry oil from doTerra that I think you’ll be amazed with the results!

LindsayK    11/25/13 4:48 PM

I’m just going to read some Amazon reviews. Thanks for nothing.

mammamia    11/21/14 1:17 PM


(Image: Lisa S./Shutterstock)

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