parent support

Jesus Freak: Denying Your Kids Birth Control To Promote Abstinence Is Ignorant

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Jesus Freak: I am a Christian mom who was raised in a fundamental Christian home. I have questioned my beliefs and have come to love myself and God on my own terms. I’m raising my kids the same way.

I’m at a point in my parenting where I’m questioning so much of what I was taught by my fundamental Christian parents. Oddly enough, my parents have also changed their beliefs dramatically and are no longer strict Bible-thumpers. In a way, it is encouraging. In another sense, it is too little, too late. I was taught fundamental Christianity to the max, and now I am a parent who has to figure it out for myself.

Granted, this is the plight of all parents, if you are parenting with your eyes open. Hopefully, all of us who are taking the time to read a parenting blog and discuss parenting with our peers are actually interested in learning more about how to parent and love our kids. I definitely don’t have all the answers, but I do have the questions.

One of the biggest Christian doctrines that I was taught and still lived by until just a few years ago was abstinence until marriage. I was a virgin (with lots of gray areas) until I was 24, when I got into a relationship with my current husband. At that time, I decided, fuck it (both literally and figuratively); we had sex before marriage while living together, but he is the only person I have been with.

At the time, it seemed like it really mattered. I was and still am at peace with my decision, but now I’m questioning the overblown importance of abstinence both for myself and my future teenage sons. I always thought that I would at least encourage them not to have sex before marriage—because what parent wants to think of their teens getting it on? Not me. But on second thought, I also don’t want to think of my teen sons getting another teen girl pregnant.

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