10 Biggest Christmas Fails, In Retrospect

I hope I am not alone in having a few regrets this holiday season. I did have a wonderful Christmas but of course, there were some Christmas fails, as there are every year. This list will include my own regrets and ones I have heard from other moms over the last few days. And of course, by next year, all will be forgotten and the same idiocy will go down. It’s kind of like pregnancy and the newborn phase in that the worst of it fades into the deepest recesses of your memory and before you know it, the cycle has begun again.

1. Buying Noisy Toys For The Kids

loud noises


You would think this would be something your in-laws would do to you, but not in my house. I don’t know why I thought harmonicas would be a fun gift for my kids (or the recorder I got for my daughter) but I am seriously annoyed with myself. Go home, Val- you were clearly drunk that day at the toy store.

2. Offering To Host

let me die


I did not host but I know lots of you did. Was it totally hectic, expensive and messy? Are you wishing you had stayed mum back at that August barbecue where you cheerily agreed to take care of Christmas Eve dinner this year? I am so sorry for your misery.

3. Eating All The Things

eat it all


I am regretting so many food choices over the last few days. Not that I am even worried about sticking to a healthy diet right now, but my body is not at all pleased with the deluge of cream, butter, bacon and sugar I have shoved into it over the last 48 hours. Add in the glasses of wine and bubbly cocktails and we have ourselves a potent blend of regret, bloat and sadness.

4. Spending Too Much Money



My husband has asked me a few times for a rough estimate of what I spent total on gifts and I am ashamed to say- I don’t rightly know. I mean, I mostly used cash and didn’t create credit card debt but I didn’t do a great job of keeping track and at this point, I almost don’t want to know the final number.

5. Baking Cookies

cookie baking


Every year, I swear I won’t do it again. And every year, I do it again. I am just not good at it, I am not patient with the kids while they “help” and I need to remember that and stick with the bakery at Wegman’s. The craft store gingerbread house kit is as crazy as I should get.

6. Forgetting To Buy Batteries

holiday facepalm


I am proud to say we avoided that this year and had the right kinds laying around. It was like some kind of Christmas miracle. But I remember in years’ past when we forgot and our TV remote just had to go silent for a few days until we got around to buying more.

7. Buying Toys With Too Many Parts



What the fuck are Beyblades and why did I buy them for my son, at his request? All these weird little wheelies I keep finding on the floor that I have no idea what to do with. Oh, and the bitty Monster High parts (their arms can pop out- how joyful) and the 8 million Legos. My brain and my feet hurt, in equal parts.

8. Agreeing To Visit Too Many People

xmas vACA


We put a stop to this over the last year or two and it’s been wonderful. Done are the days of making three or four stops over the course of Christmas Day and rushing home to our poor dog so he doesn’t pee all over the place. If you went on the Grand Tour this year, you have my sympathies- I know it can be awful, particularly with kids in tow.

9. Waiting Until Christmas Eve To Assemble Toys



Like I mentioned the other day, we pulled an all-nighter putting together a train table and it was the worst. If you waited until 10 pm on Christmas Eve to put together your little one’s giant dollhouse, I so feel your pain.

10. Three Weeks Of Garbage



When you start shoving all that cardboard, tissue and wrapping paper into the trash do you start to wonder about adopting a more minimalist lifestyle? I know I do but like I said, so many of these regrets are fleeting. By next year, we will be drowning in refuse again. Because apparently, I do not learn from pain.

(Image: k r e f/Shutterstock)

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