working mom

I Love My Kids, But Being A Mother Is Not Enough For Me

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shutterstock_120584731It’s perfectly okay if you are a stay-at-home mom and find motherhood to be the most fulfilling job on earth. It’s also just as okay if you don’t. If you tried to stay at home and couldn’t handle it, or if you didn’t want to stay at home and went back to work, you are still okay.

I read a recent post titled Being a Mother Really Is Enough. I love this blogger’s sentiment because I can totally understand what it feels like not to be satisfied in your own situation, in your own skin. I’m still working on being happy with myself no matter what I do or how I do it. I’m not very good at it. But I’m also not happy being a full-time mom, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The original blogger encourages mothers everywhere by saying:

I am a mother.

And I am enough.

And so are you.

I am enough when I choose to sit in quiet and drink my coffee instead of preparing breakfast.

I am enough when I leave the clothes in the washer well beyond the essential 24-hour period.

I am enough when I let their outgrown clothes pile up like a mountain out of neglect and, perhaps, out of resistance to the idea that those clothes no longer fit my babies.

To be honest, I am a little bit jealous about the security with which she appears to write. I wish that I could feel great about myself doing absolutely nothing, but I often use work to validate myself. I wish that I could cut myself some slack and not worry about chores, but I’m constantly grading myself in my head and hoping that I live up to my own personal expectations at the end of the day. I’m sure that’s exactly what this blogger is talking about, and I embrace what she’s saying.

I tried to be a part-time stay-at-home mom when my first son was born, and I hated it. The thing was, I felt restless and anxious in my own skin, and I didn’t know what to do with my baby all day long. I actually googled: What do you do with a baby all day?

It wasn’t until I started working again and decided that I wanted to work full-time from home that I felt better and somewhat balanced. Yes, life is still incredibly stressful and hectic with an entire family under one roof while working at home, but for me, just being a mother wasn’t enough. And that’s okay.

I agree with what this blogger is saying. I believe each and every person should feel valuable for who they are at their core, period. Like I said, I believe this, but I’m still a work in progress. I also believe that I personally could not find fulfillment as a full-time stay-at-home mom, and that’s okay too. I love to work because it fulfills me. I choose to work because I don’t enjoy caring for my kids all day long, and that is enough.

(Image: Piotr Marcinski/Shutterstock)