being a mom

We Are The Mothers -And Fathers- Our Parents Warned Us About

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shutterstock_56892187Parents today are a fierce and righteous sort. This is what I have learned from writing for Mommyish and from the comments and E-mails I have received. We talk a lot about different parenting styles on Mommyish, Tiger Mothers, Helicopter Mothers, Free-range Mothers, Hipster Mothers, Frumpy Mothers, MILFs and everything in between. But one things has really become pronounced to me: we are doing everything in our power not to raise assholes.

Now, hear me out, yes, there are still groups like One Million Moms who want to save today’s youth from the indecency of JC Penny sweater advertising and our comic book characters from finding love. There are moms out there who are still a little too interested in what goes on with our own, personal vaginas. There are fathers out there who still don’t understand that their daughters can’t choose who they fall in love with. But what I have discovered is that there is a common thread amongst the majority of parents raising kids today, and that is that the things our own parents would have taken issue with are the same things that we do everything in our power to take issue against. 

Don’t believe me? Ask your own parents. Well, that is if you are of a certain age, cough.

When my mother was growing up, interracial marriages and dating were still scandalized. Even having playdates with a child of another race was something that was seen as slightly unusual. I had one black friend when I was little, and she was my best friend, and I can still remember both of us being teased about it. And I can still remember my mother raising her hand to slap my face when I asked her what a “nigger lover” was, and how she held me on her lap and explained to me I should never repeat those ugly words yelled at me as my friend and I sat on the swings together, both of our hair in tight braids from her mother’s swift fingers, our tongues red with strawberry Kool-aid. Parents today don’t care what color or nationality our kids friends are, as long as they are nice kids. We have mixed race kids, friends of other races, and we treat our kids that all people are equal, no matter what color their skin is, no matter what country they or their parents were born in. 

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