15 Halloween Costumes You Definitely Shouldn’t Dress Your Kids In

There are so many Halloween costumes for kids out there, it can be hard to decide on the perfect one for your child. We’re just a few days away, and to help with the decision-making, here’s a list of costumes that you should definitely avoid at all costs – not only for your child’s social health but for their mental health as well. Enjoy!

1. Wriggly Mortie the Undead Clown
If regular clowns don’t give your kids nightmares, this one is guaranteed to.

Wrigglie Clown

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2. Punk Devil

Dressing as the most evil being in the history of evil isn’t bad enough for your child? Okay, then make it punk too, I guess.

punkdevil

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3. Queen Elizabeth I 
Because kids love to dress up as British world leaders from the Elizabethan Era.

QueenEliz

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4. Fairy Capes
Now I’m no ”Fairy Cape” expert, but these costumes look like penises to me.

Fairy Capes

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5. Zombie Football Player
Yeah, this is a great idea if you don’t want to encourage athletics or being a team player.

Football Zombie

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6. Victorian Goth Girl
Because if your daughter wants to be a Goth girl, this is a great way to ”frump it up.” She’s going to love this costume!

Victorian Goth Girl

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7. French Fries
Encourage poor eating habits while also encouraging kids to bully the crap out of your child.

French Fries

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8. Medusa
Because if there’s something little girls like more than having snakes for hair, it’s being so ugly she’ll turn people to stone.

Medusa

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9. Thing 1 and Thing 2
This is an easy way to cultivate identity issues in twins: dress them up as ”things” that nobody can tell apart.

Thing1Thing2

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10. Puttin’ on the Ritz Skeleton
Um.

Puttin on the Ritz Skeleton

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11. Barbie Kitty
Basically, this translates to ”the kid version of Slutty Cat.”

Kitty Barbie

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12. Vampire of Versailles
If you can spend $150 on an ugly vampire costume when there are children starving in this world, I don’t know how you sleep at night.

Vampire

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13. Roadkill
This is just wrong on so many levels. Having your child say, ”I’m Roadkill” is what I find hardest to swallow.

Roadkill Kid

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14. Tootsie Roll
A ”sexy” version of a tootsie roll costume for kid. Is nothing sacred anymore??

Tootsie Roll

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15. Baby Mummy
Is there ever a good reason for a baby to be dressed up as a dead person? Get that kid in a pumpkin costume pronto!

Mummy

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