12 Things That Will Go Through Your Mind The First Time You Wear Your Baby

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I always wanted to be really good at wearing my baby. Something about having my baby expertly wrapped around my torso always said Look world, even though I’m now wearing an infant everywhere I go, nothing about my life has changed! Have you ever seen a specimen so suited for motherhood? I would be walking around, all hands-free and fabulous. Probably wearing giant sunglasses and holding a big cup of coffee. It would be great!

It turns out wearing your baby for the first time isn’t great at all; it’s totally terrifying. Don’t worry – the horror passes, but here are some of the things that may run through your mind the first time you do it.

1. What if I trip on something, fall forward, forget to break my fall and crush my baby?

I haven’t fallen forward on my face since I was about four years old. No matter! It still seemed like something that was totally primed to happen the first few times I wore my baby. I was certain I would lose all ability to balance myself upright and fall straight to the ground, hence crushing my child. It never happened.

2. Is he breathing?

Is his face to close to my boobs?

3. Maybe I should just support his weight with my hands anyway.

So much for hands-free. The first few times you wear your baby you will not trust any knots or clasps. You will be basically holding your baby with your hands, even though he is securely strapped to your body.

4. Is he breathing?

Seriously, is he breathing?

5. What if these clips come undone? 

How reliable are these things? I think I heard them click – I should probably just check again.

6. Is he breathing?

Can I feel the rise and fall of his chest?

7. Do I look like a linebacker?

The padded shoulder straps are comfortable, but I look like Refrigerator Perry.

8. Is he breathing?

Is it okay for his face to be in my chest like that?

9. Will this knot hold?

I’ve checked it a few times, but maybe I should re-tie it.

10. Is he breathing?

Let me just pull him out a little so I can see his face.

11. Can I really use my hands while he’s in this thing?

Coffee? No, thanks. I have to hold on to my baby with both hands even though he’s totally securely strapped to my body.

12. Is he breathing?

 (photo:  Andrey Kozachenko / Shutterstock)