You People That Don’t RSVP To Baby Showers Deserve Your Own Special Place In Hell

This is a follow-up to my ranty thank you note post. Consider it volume two: If you don’t RSVP to a baby shower, you are dead to me, and I will hate you for the rest of my life.

Okay, okay, I’m exaggerating”¦ But only a little. Let me tell you the back story. A few years ago, I threw a casual baby shower for a friend. This was far before I had kids, so I’m sure that I didn’t do as awesome a job as I could have, but I made sure to cross all of my t’s and dot all of my i’s.

I sent out adorable baby shower invitations far enough in advance with explicit instructions to call or text an RSVP. This is going to sound ridiculously bitchy, but let me just spell out what RSVP stands for: “repondez, s’il vous plaît,” in French or “please respond” in English.

A response is a yes or no. A response can even be a maybe. Call me crazy, but I thought that out of the 15 or so people I invited, I would get several RSVPs. I got zero. Leading up to the day of the baby shower, I still had zero and was trying to play it cool. Lo and behold, roughly 12 people came to the shower, which is a great turnout. NONE of them had RSVP’d.

Those were in my younger days, so I decided to blow it off. But I have since thrown many parties using Facebook group invites with a really, really simple reply function to say Yes, No, or Maybe to an event. Still, STILL, there are so many people in my social circle that choose not to respond at all. Sometimes they show up, sometimes they don’t.

Technology makes it so easy. All I can say is, WHY, GOD, WHY????

I’m throwing a baby shower for a friend in a few months, and I don’t have the highest expectations for an RSVP rate. The only solution that I’ve thought of is to hire a baby shower bouncer to man the door and throw out any broads that aren’t on the guest list. That’ll show ’em.

(photo: Getty Images)