having a baby

It Is Not Rude To Add Your Registry To Your Baby Shower Invite

By  | 

shutterstock_174730151I’m no Emily Post, but I do like to write thank you notes. (Ahem, Theresa.) Most of the time I try to have regular, good old-fashioned manners: Somewhere between excusing myself when I burp and curtsying when a gentleman caller opens the door for me.

But there are a few etiquette no-no’s that I feel so meh about—the top one being the unspeakable rudeness of printing baby shower registry information on the baby shower invite.

I just don’t see the big deal. This is probably because everyone I know in my white trash corner of Texas has always done it this way. But those more refined than I disagree:

Kate Zabriskie, an etiquette expert at Business Training Works, Inc., in Port Tobacco, Maryland, has very strong feelings on the subject. “Although many stores will give registry cards to include in the invitations, I still find that appalling,” she says. “Normally when the guest RSVPs she will ask where the girl has registered if she plans on giving a gift from the registry. The gift is from the giver and therefore totally up to her.”

Still, meh. Another etiquette source at Real Simple suggests the following:

Many shower invitations do, but that can make the shower seem like a bit of a gimme-fest. Better yet, keep registry information off the invitation but feel free to pass it along if guests ask you for it. Or have them contact the honoree’s family or the honoree directly.

I have a hard time getting worked up about a “gift grubby” mom-to-be printing her gift registry information on her baby shower invitation—because the alternative sounds like a lot of work. Yes, if the gift registry information is printed directly on the invitation, it looks like you are asking for a gift. But I think we all know what’s going to happen at a baby shower by now. (Spoiler alert: You will play stupid games, eat tiny sandwiches, drink nonalcoholic drinks, and eventually OPEN GIFTS.)

If I was invited to a baby shower that didn’t have the registry information, I wouldn’t have any problem purchasing the gift of my choice on my own. I would probably enjoy that very much. But I would not call the host of the shower to find out more about the gift registry. I would assume that the information was excluded for a reason. When and if I am invited to another baby shower with the gift registry brazenly printed on the invite, I’ll happily consult it when I buy. I love directions. Thanks for making my life easier.

(Image: Irina Nartova/Shutterstock)