having a baby
Expectant Moms, Donâ€™t Complain When You Get A Free Baby Shower
I am of the school of thought that you shouldnâ€™t look a gift horse in the mouth. (Unless itâ€™s an actual horse made of gifts, then do whatever you want because that shit is CRAY.) But really, if someone is going out of their way to do something nice for you or give you a gift, it shouldnâ€™t matter what the gesture is or how much the gift costs. It really is the thought that counts.
I know I have written before about the importance of sticking to the baby shower registry, and I stand by that. The purpose of writing that was to point out that I believe itâ€™s easier on both the expectant mother and the guest to purchase from the registry, especially if you want to buy an item she really wants or needs. Itâ€™s a free country, but it makes sense to me.
As far as the rest of the baby shower planning goes, basic etiquette rules apply. If anyone decided to do something nice for me or even (gasp!) purchase a gift off-registry, I wouldnâ€™t dare question it. The generosity of the act is meaningful enough. I was and am thankful for any gift I have been given baby-related or otherwise, no matter how large or small.
But baby shower planning can bring out the worst in people. Even when someone has gone out of their way to throw a shower for an expectant mother, thereâ€™s always someone whoâ€™s going to complain.
In this case, itâ€™s a dad who has beef with the logistics of party planning:
Future Dad here – this is going to be the first kid my wife and I have, and I couldn’t be more frustrated with some people in our family. Her mom wants to host the baby shower which is totally understandable, her parents are divorced, and my side of family lives three hours away. Her mom seems to be dead set on hosting at her house, her cousin(the other side of the family) was supposed to host a second one for people on the other side of the state (but this was cancelled without telling anyone) and now my mom is trying to set up a second baby shower with our side 3 hours away (although she and my friends were willing to drive 1.5 hours and meet halfway). Now both parties will happen after the 8 months mark, with the one that is a three hour drive in the middle of January approaching 8.5 months. My issue is that at this point everyone should have taken a step back and asked what would be best for my wife? Put pride aside and find a location where everyone could go to that was easy for the expecting mom. I’m very upset on how selfish everyone is being about this. Her mom picking a location that everyone knew meant my family and friends wouldn’t be able to make it, forcing us to spend up to 7 hours in a car at 8.5 months.
I will admit, driving seven hours at nearly 9 months pregnant sounds super sucky. But I wouldnâ€™t go so far as to call the party planners selfish. When a baby is about to arrive, everyone in the family gets excited. Itâ€™s perfectly natural to want to go over the top and plan a memorable event. Important details, like, I donâ€™t know, catering to the pregnant mother, may be forgotten in the hustle and bustle.
If I was in her shoes, I would probably travel to the destination and feel a little cranky about it, but I would still be eternally grateful that everyone gathered to provide me willingly with baby gifts. The point is that a baby shower isnâ€™t a guarantee, nor is it a requirement. If someone goes out of their way to throw a party for you, they deserve your thanks.