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Gift-Grubby Mom-To-Be Sends Incredibly Annoying Poem To Everyone Who Missed Her Baby Shower

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shutterstock_111283643__1394732192_142.196.156.251Imagine being invited to the baby shower of a person you barely knew. Now imagine not going, which is the obvious choice. Finally, imagine getting a poem from this mom-to-be who you barely know, reminding you that you can and should still buy her a gift. Wow.

One of our readers sent this little gem along today, that she received from an “acquaintance” if you can even call her that. They sat next to each other at graduation and they have some mutual friends in common, but they are not friends. I repeat, they are not friends.

We’re sorry you missed the shower!


There was fun and games to be had

The food and drinks not too bad

The loot was a plenty

But we looked high and low and found none from you

Not even a shiny penny!


Babies need a lot

Of this fact we all know

So we’ve included some shops below!


If none are to your liking, and that we understand

Then grab a pen and get to writing

For checks are to our liking!


The *** Family is registered at these stores and checks can be mailed to this address.

First, let’s just get the obvious out of the way – this is one of the worst poems I’ve ever read. Next, what is going on here? Either you will be sent a gift or you won’t. You don’t send a horrible poem guilting guests (some that you barely know, I’d like to point out) who missed your shower into buying you a gift. Maybe they had already planned on sending you one? I’m guessing that this poem will change their minds.

Baby showers are great and can be very, very helpful. But it would be fantastic if women like this could remember that a gift is a gesture. It should never be received because someone was made to feel guilty for not coming to an event and contributing to your “loot.”

I think the obvious choice for everyone who received this letter would be to send her a “shiny penny.” That would be the best, wouldn’t it? This would be my response:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue

Here’s your shiny penny

I barely know you.

Well, not only did she send a poem to those who didn’t get her a gift, she also sent one who got her a gift that wasn’t to her liking:

We loved seeing you at the shower
Remember how the gifts they did tower?
We sorted them for hours

Upon sifting and sorting we noticed something amiss
For your gift didn’t match the list

To fix your situation we listed our stores below
But a check could also help us flow!

How exactly does this couple manage to have any friends to even invite to their shower?

(photo: bikeriderlondon/ Shutterstock)