giving birth

Birthzilla Better Not Become A Real Trend

By  | 

birthThe great, wide world of parenting never ceases to amaze me. I know we’ve all encountered a few high-stress moms on the playground before. We’ve certainly seen them spout their annoying opinions online as they advocate for a righteous cause—down with circumcision, up with baby wearing, and a wider selection in gluten-free cupcakes for classroom birthday parties, please.

But what if this outrageous sense of entitlement started before birth? Popping a baby out of your hoo-ha doesn’t make you irrational, judgy, and downright mean. Most of the time, “moms on a mission” who won’t take no for an answer were probably that way long before they got pregnant.

I’ve heard of Bridezillas before. You probably have too if you have a pulse and cable TV. Recently, as I was meandering through the Internet wonderland, I came across an intriguing variation on the love-to-hate Bridezilla phenomenon that made me put down my laptop and pray: Please, please God, don’t let this become a real trend.

Birthzilla. WTF is a Birthzilla? Mama Mia says:

Birthzillas usually speak about ‘empowerment’ and ‘control’ and use a lot of personal pronouns. Their own experience is invariably at the centre of their narrative even though they will always claim (and probably believe) that they’re acting selflessly for the good of their baby. This baffles me. It’s a bit like going to Paris and obsessing about the in-flight entertainment instead of, you know, PARIS.

Internet forums say:

I’ve written a birth plan and that may make me a birthzilla lol but it is my body and my choice I refuse to deal with PTSD again after having another baby in a horribly unnatural position +environment + w intervention -Unless its necessary and it will be hard to convince me of this the answer will be no, I trust my body and it’s ability to do what it’s made to 🙂

I delivered my first in the hospital had a midwife and a VERY specific birth plan that my coach placed both on the door to the delivery room and on the table where the monitors were however when in the hospital they just assume you want an epidural and IV, I am a very aggressive person and just flat told each and every nurse how my labor and delivery was GOING to be period.

I would recommend waiting waiting waiting as long as possible to go to the hospital. Use a partner or labor coach and labor at home until you can’t anymore. Really. The less time you spend at the hospital, the less they can say your labor “isn’t progressing” or infringe upon your birth plan.

I can’t vouch for any of these women being bona fide Birthzillas, but I can tell you that from what I read on the forums, many women take their birth plan very seriously. I get that it’s important to do your research and understand what works best for you, but I can’t help feeling for the doctors, midwives, and nurses that have to deal with laboring women who may be unwilling to bend their wishes. If these Birthzillas are anything like the Bridezillas we’ve seen on TV, God help us all.

(Image: Alex James Bramwell/Shutterstock)