activities

These Baby Shower Games Are Beyond Awkward, So Why Are We Still Playing Them?

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I love a good baby shower. The cute little food, the whimsical decorations, everyone coming together to celebrate a new little life – they’re lovely! But when my sisters were planning my baby shower for my oldest girl, I had a very adamant request: NO GAMES. None. Not even one. I understand why games are big at showers, I really do. But I also know that the awkward baby shower games we’ve been playing for years need to stop. They’re not fun, people. There are always two or three people in attendance who enjoy them, only because they want the prizes. Everyone else just plays along because they’ve been invited to a party and it’s the nice thing to do. But the games, they are not good. We can do better!

Awkward baby shower games dominate the baby shower arena, and we need to say no. Like everyone’s favorite game: Let’s Measure the Mom-to-Be and then make her cry when our strips of toilet paper are 10x too long!

This is the actual worst baby shower game. By the time we shower our soon-to-be-moms with love, they’re usually … big. Towards the end of a pregnancy, the belly grows at an alarming rate. Trust me, the pregnant woman KNOWS she’s big. We don’t need to draw attention to that fact, people. When she’s standing there and one by one, guests approach her with a piece of toilet paper a mile long, it’s so uncomfortable. And then there’s always that one person who says some shit like, “Oh, my piece is way too big, and here I thought it wouldn’t even wrap all the way around!” Shut up. Stop embarrassing pregnant women. Making someone cry at her own baby shower should get you banished.

Image: Giphy

Eating “baby poop” out of a diaper. We are grown-ass adults, why do we do this.

The premise of this game is simple, and disgusting. The hosts melt various chocolate candy bars into diapers. Then the guests, who probably thought they were going to be enjoying a lovely lunch of finger sandwiches and mimosas, have to eat the poop-like concoctions and guess which candy bar it is. So basically, you have 20 – 30 adults sitting around, eating faux-shit out of baby diapers. For fun. And prizes! Don’t forget the prizes! This might be the most disgusting awkward baby shower game ever invented.

Don’t say “baby”! At a baby shower!

True story: I once attended a baby shower where we played this clothespin game. Everyone got a clothes pin, and you couldn’t say the word “baby”. If someone heard you say baby, they got your pin, and the person with the most pins at the end of the shower won. So this woman, I think she was an aunt of the mom-to-be, she was IN TO IT. She didn’t speak a word, not a single word, for the ENTIRE shower. Instead, she would get up and move seats every 5 minutes or so, to be within earshot of all the other guests. And when one of them said “baby”, she would get up and snatch their pin off. SO MUCH FUN, RIGHT? She won, obviously. And for all her hard work and dedication to the game, she got a travel set of toiletries from Bath and Body Works. Good job? I guess?

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