People Mag Curiously Admits That Avril Lavigne’s ‘Pregnancy’ Was Caused By The Wind Blowing Her Dress

This is an epic moment in tabloid pregnancy speculation. Despite years of pregnancy musing based on the shape of Beyonce‘s dress or the every angle of Jennifer Aniston‘s coat, People  is actually admitting that one lady’s pregnancy is just the wind and nothing more. We’ve turned a corner! Or something.

The publication reports rumors that Avril Lavigne is expecting a baby with fiance Chad Kroeger. After what I’m certain is some Grade A tabloid sleuthing, the verdict is that Avril is not expecting. But furthermore, it was just a funky angle in her ensemble:

The Canadian singer, 28, who’s engaged to Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger, hasn’t commented on the speculation, but a source tells PEOPLE that she is not pregnant.

Reports suggest the wind may have simply been playing with her dress as she left her hotel.

First of all, this is just way too sane.

What’s next? People and Us Weekly admitting that so and so’s baby bump is just a case of a yummy lunch? An empire-waisted top? An unflattering angle? The fact that it’s December and kind of chilly so therefore a puffy coat is being utilized? You open this floodgate of completely legitimate alternatives to imaginary pregnancies and there’s just no stopping it.

Are you guys employing a new business model?

(photo: Will Alexander/WENN.com)