AR Wear Has Inspired Me To Develop A New Line Of ‘Don’t Rape’ Clothing For Men

People keep asking me what I think about the new AR Wear clothing line for women, that claims it can help women feel safer when they are doing things normal women should feel okay doing, taking out the trash late at night, going on a run, meeting a friend for drinks after work, going on a blind date. This is a statement from the Indiegogo Page where the company is trying to raise funds for the items to be created:

We developed this product so that women and girls could have more power to control the outcome of a sexual assault. We wanted to offer some peace of mind in situations that cause feelings of apprehension, such as going out on a blind date, taking an evening run, ”clubbing”, traveling in unfamiliar countries, and any other activity that might make one anxious about the possibility of an assault.

It’s a perfectly fine idea. I see nothing wrong with a company wanting to create an item that makes women feel safer. Except the fact the problem doesn’t and shouldn’t lie with just women. So I’m going to take this opportunity to announce my new line of anti-rape clothing I’m developing for men, called Don’t Rape. My items are in the very early stages of development, and I haven’t made any prototypes yet, but here is what I hope to include:

The Don’t Rape Line Of Athletic Uniforms 

Since many sexual assaults are tied to student and professional athletes, these items will include a sound chip in helmets that plays on constant loop that simply states:

Don’t rape anyone.

Business Attire

This is for the professional man-on-the-go, and will feature business suits that read all over the lining:

Remember! Don’t be a rapist!

I also hope to embed neckties with sound chips reminding men not to rape anyone but sadly, men may wise up and remove their ties before they get to raping. This line is obviously still in development.

For The Youngest Potential Rapists

Men need to be taught from a very young age that they shouldn’t grow up to be rapists, so I am developing a line of diapers that will convey this message in a happy cartoon voice that will appeal to even the youngest of children. Something along the lines of:

Hey there little fella! You were given birth by a woman so when you grow up you should treat women equally and not sexually assault them. No means no.

 Underwear 

There will be two versions of this item. The first will be a line of Don’t Rape men’s underwear. These underwear will be manufactured so the only people who know the combination to unlock them will be consenting adults. If the men try to remove them by themselves, they will simply explode.

The other version will protect men from being victims of rape, considering that many men fall victim to crimes of sexual assault daily. If the AR Wear company can create undergarments for women to feel safe, the DR company would also like to create a line for men.

Or else we could all just start having open and honest conversations with the kids were are raising about why sexual assault is a million percent wrong.

(Image: getty images)