Resolution Week: 10 Annoying Things My Kids Do That I’m Gonna Be Totally Chill About In 2015

It’s Resolution Week here at Mommyish! Check out all our other posts here.

I love my kids more than anything (yeah yeah, we know, Kate), but dear god do they get under my skin sometimes. Not this year! In 2015 I’m gonna be totally cool and chill about all the little irritating things they do that make me completely insane. I am going to be the most laid back mom you’ve ever seen, just you watch!

Sure, these things were annoying in 2014, but 2015 nothing on this list will bug me ever again! *unclenches fists*

1. Drink the water they dip their paint brushes in. 

eat all the things

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You want toxic paint juice inside your body? Be my guest. Why not eat the crayons too, while you’re at it. Here, I’ll put them on a plate for you.

2. Pull all the wipes out of the baby wipe container.

Sure, yank them out and then I’ll just stuff them all into a gallon size plastic bag and stay totally CALM about it. Not annoying at all!

3. Pick their noses and bite their nails. 

nose pick football

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Enjoy your delicious body parts, dear children of mine.

4. Leave little Disney figurines all over the floor so that when I step on them at two in the morning it feels like I’m stepping in a pile of the world’s tiniest knives.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

5. Bug the cat. 

cat-baby-fight

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Go for it. When she scratches you I’ll be over here in the corner sipping wine and trying to figure out how to say “I told you so” in baby sign language.

6. Reject every healthy meal I make them. 

Cool, cool – I look forward to having a grocery list that consists of just hot dogs and spaghetti.

7. Cry when I turn off the TV. 

dawson's creek cry

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I get it, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood is just that good. No judging here.

8. Make me wipe their butts even though they totally know how to wipe their butts.

Mmmmmm, poop. I’m into it.

9. Throw everything on the floor of the car and then insist I pick up said things from the floor of the car…while driving. 

give-it-to-me-gif

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Let me just crank up this Beat Buds album and pretend I didn’t hear that request.

10. Somehow find every fragile item I have hidden away and child-proofed and proceed to destroy it, with glee.

Material things are meaningless. I am zen mom now. Namaste.

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