There Is Another Pregnant Duggar And It’s Not Jessa

Guys, I need your support today. I got some of the saddest news this side of Reality-Ville and it involves a certain, saucy Christian wife we have all come to know and love. It breaks my heart to reveal this news, but here goes.

I know, I need hugs too. We will get through this together, I promise. It super sucks because many of us were noticing certain things- the way Anna and Josh discussed that it “might be time for another baby” as though they actually thought it out instead of just leaving it up to God and their private parts. They sounded almost…normal. Well, apparently, they were fooling us all or maybe it took them awhile to get pregnant (Anna does not have Dugg-ovaries, after all- we can’t expect the same uterine output as her mother-in-law). Or maybe, they WERE trying to space their kids out a bit more or were considering being done with three kids (BLASPHEMY) and Jim Bob and Michelle set them straight and told them to get moving. Everyone was talking about their both being the geriatric age of 26 with a paltry three children and we just couldn’t have that. Whatever the case, I am so sad that the Bold Anna Duggar theory, that she was popping birth control and telling The Paunch they were Tic Tacs, has been blown to bits.

And please don’t think me cruel- every baby is a blessing and for what awfulness Josh and Anna are bringing to the world with their terrifying political views, they do seem to be excellent parents. If this is something they actually wanted, then good for them. I just have trouble believing that people in their mid-twenties in 2014 are really down with having unlimited babies. They live in an urban area and they seem happy there- I thought maybe they were modernizing their lifestyle a little and it was heartening to see. Oh well. We still have Jessa so I will hold out hope. She has a spunky attitude and I cannot picture her being tied down by a baby at 21 years old. I’m sure Jim Bob has eyes on his barn attic to make sure efforts are being made (shudder) and we should probably have a Jessa-Ben baby announcement by the new year but I am keeping the faith. I seriously want to rescue all of these young, beautiful women from a life of servitude and barefooted pregnantness. You can say all you like that this is the life they are choosing but the fact is, they never really had a choice.

Image: (Anna Duggar Instagram)