Amazon Prime Day 2018 Was a Fail, But At Least They Had Pictures of Cute Dogs

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Friends, I am disappointed. Today was Amazon Prime Day, and I have been planning my attack since the date was confirmed. I had a list! I had ideas! And an $100 Amazon gift card to blow on useless bullshit I didn’t really need! I went into it with clear eyes and heart, and Amazon let me down. Amazon let us ALL down. You’d think that Amazon, of all the online retailers, would be ready for the Prime Day rush. Well, you would be wrong. All we got was some sad dog pictures and so-so deals on velcro tabs and an insane number of bed skirts.

Amazon Prime Day started off strong, and then fizzled out like bad sex. About 30 minutes into the start of Prime Day, the site crashed. And it crashed HARD.

It was an absolute mess. The landing page didn’t work. Links didn’t work. Search didn’t work. It was borked on desktop and mobile. Every time you went to search for something, you were taken to a picture of a dog. Points for the broken site pages, Amazon!

Now, it sucks anytime a site crashed during a sale. It happens a lot, especially when a site isn’t prepared for the amount of traffic they’ll get. But like, this is … Amazon? Alexa pretty much runs the entire world. And Amazon promotes the shit out of Prime Day. They should not be surprised by the fact that it was hugely popular and pretty much every Prime member would be on the site at 3:30 p.m. EST. LIKE AMAZON TOLD US TO BE.

There seemed to be some good deals early on, but by the time a lot of people were able to access the site, they had been replaced by a lot of useless shit. But useless shit at a great price!

This is how Amazon Prime Day always gets me. I was very seriously considering getting the Ring doorbell, but then super sad yellow labrador made me feel guilty. By the time I was able to get on, the thrill was gone, and then I saw the baby ice maker I’ve been eyeing (baby ice is Chik Fil A ice, aka Sonic ice, aka the best ice in the world). And it was $100 off! Yes, it was still ridiculously expensive. So I passed. But I did end up getting one of those DNA/genetic health kits. Because I had a gift card and I can’t just let it sit there and use it responsibly, I’m not a monster.

Amazon Prime Day is supposed to wrap up on July 17, but we’ll see if they even make it that long. Or maybe they’ll extend it because of the sad dogs that took over the site. Did you have any luck? What did you waste your money on during Prime Day?

(Image: Facebook/Amazon)