Speaker Touting Benefits Of Abstinence Proves How Ridiculous Abstinence-Only Education Really Is

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shutterstock_132837419__1365943659_70.118.110.28Everyone knows if you want to teach kids about safe sex the best way to go about it is by making them feel guilty for having normal sexual feelings, not giving them any actual information, and telling them to keep their clothes on or their mothers will hate them – right? Pam Stenzel, an abstinence-only speaker, makes her living doing this.

The Charleston Gazette reported that Stenzel came to a West Virginia school last week and made some incredible claims. Incredibly false, anyway. Some of the gems students were able to walk away with were, “If you take birth control your mother probably hates you,” and “I could look at any one of you in the eyes right now and tell if you’re going to be promiscuous.” Who is this crazy person and why is she talking to our kids (or rather not talking to our kids) about sex? From

Seven years ago Pam Stenzel grew weary of hearing the phrase, NOBODY TOLD ME!! After years of counseling young girls who found themselves in crisis pregnancies, Pam began to realize that so many were completely unaware of the risks involved with sexual activity, and that many had never been told about all the consequences of their choices.

Does she provide a map to avoid the “consequences” that she speaks of? Well, sort of. It involves using a bunch of hyperbole and never once talking about actual sex education – you know, the kind that really prevents pregnancies. Instead she uses a bunch of broad statements meant to induce guilt and fear. I’m not really sure what she is doing for kids except making them feel ashamed and guilty for their normal, sexual feelings.

I watched one of her videos on YouTube to get a full grasp of what exactly it is she’s telling our kids. It was a little disturbing to watch her strut out on stage and brag about all of the different countries and cultures she had spoken to – there was an icky feeling that she was bestowing herself with some kind of “celebrity” status so these kids would be more inclined to listen to her. It was hard to get past the first five minutes of her lecture, especially when she said this:

If you forget everything else I tell you today, and you can only remember one thing from me today – this is what I want you to hear; If you have sex outside of one, permanent, monogamous relationship – and monogamy doesn’t mean on person at a time – if you have sex outside of that context you will pay. No one has EVER had more than one partner and not paid.

She goes on to explain how birth control is the devil and makes girls “ten times more likely to be carrying disease” than those who don’t take it. Oh my god. She then goes as far as to claim that girls taking birth control “could end up sterile or dead.”

Many students who were subjected to her talk last week are taking a stand against her brand of education:

“While her intentions may have been good, her tone was very loud, like she was shaming everyone in the audience. She was making girls cry. There were pregnant girls in the audience and she was implying, if you had sex, you’re not an OK person,” the male student said. “The only reason I am standing up against it is so other schools in West Virginia don’t have to hear this.”

Stenzel makes $4,000 to $6,000 per speaking engagement. It would be great if she could include some form of “education” in her sex education talk. I guess that just doesn’t pay as well as her guilt-ridden tirades.

(photo: Sam72/