Stuff
6 Ways A Man With A Cold Is Just A Toddler
Few things strike fear into my heart like the sound of my husband sneezing repeatedly and then proclaim he doesn’t feel well. One of the yuckier parts of having young kids is contracting their frequent illnesses, but when I catch a bug, I usually manage to go about my day with a stuffy nose and slightly grumpy demeanor. The mancold is an entirely different story. While I am sympathetic towards my beloved when he’s under the weather, I can’t help but notice that tending to a man with a cold is remarkably similar to taking care of a toddler.
1. They are picky about what they eat.
My boys are forever using their garbled speech to ask me for a cracker or banana that they take one bite out of before throwing it to the cat. A germ infested man behaves in much the same manner. Mine will mutter about being hungry for an english muffin without making one until I take the hint and prepare one for him, only to see him take a tiny nibble and declare it’s too toasted before wrinkling his nose and pushing it to the side.
2. They want to control the television.
The kids would watch Elmo all day every day if I let them. The sick husband swears The Price Is Right has restorative properties. I just want the bickering to stop and if they can’t choose something together then NO ONE gets to watch the TV.
3. They can’t stay still.
My toddlers are constantly tugging at their clothing and cannot maintain one position for more than thirty seconds. A sick man is the same way- constantly adjusting pillows and blankets on the couch he’s commandeered and jumping up to mess with the thermostat. He tries to make me into an ice sculpture by one minute, then attempts to turn our house into South Beach in July the next.
